Royal Blood

Chapter Thirty Six

So many thoughts are swarming around in my head, buzzing back and forth.

The tears have stopped but I feel like the confusion has only just started. How can my mother be dead? I never wanted this to happen, I never wanted her dead, I just wanted her to listen. Now she will never listen to me.

It just does not feel right, it does not feel real. She has always been a constant figure in my life, even during the time she locked herself away after my father died, her presence was always felt. My mother never had any strong maternal instincts but I never went without and I know that deep down, she was only doing what she thought was best, even if it was not and now I am an orphan.

No father, no mother and yet I still have so much that some people can only ever dream of. A palace full of butlers, maids and guards, all that can keep my company but they never do the same job as a mother or father, do they?

Screaming does not help but I keep doing it, trying to let out some of my anger and frustration. Faces flash through my mind, my father's with his dark hair the same as mine, my mothers whose blonde hair makes her look like an angel and yet the country viewed her as the devil, Louis who I hope stays by my side because now he is the only constant figure that I have.

Then I see his face.

Ash Crow.

His sunken cheeks and lifeless eyes stare at me, taunting me of his small victory. What was it he said? Something about how royal blood will be spilt? Well he did, he finished his mission and killed my mother which is something that he never had to do. If only I had not been captured, or even rescued sooner, then maybe my mother will still be alive.

I want to hurt him, I want to make him suffer. Sitting here, imagining the different ways I could kill him, I start to understand why my mother would not give into his demands. Why would I want to give that scum anything. Then again it is not just him.

More faces flash through my mind, those of Katrina and Liliana along with Macy and her brother. Those people need me to listen. They are the ones who need help, not Crow besides, I have enough evidence to get him arrested, I can torture him in my own time.

I can do what I want, rule the country how I want because now I am queen. I did not expect this to happen, not this early in my life. All I wanted was to help my mother rule the country, by her side with the experience I have. Now I have to do it all by myself and I realise I do not know the first thing about being a queen. Maybe I should have listened to my mother.

Then again, maybe I did the right thing? I do not know anymore, my head is so confused with everything. I have so much that I need to process. A stroll might be good for me, some air might be able to help me make sense of some of my thoughts.

I get off of my bed and grab a coat, just in case I decide to go outside and then leave my room. Luckily for me, there is no one on the corridor to give me sorry looks so I am able to march straight on. I keep walking without having a destination in mind of where I am going to. I just need to get out of here.

My walking gets faster and faster and I almost break out into a run until I hear some familiar voices which are muffled by the door separating us. I sink besides the door and just listen to parts of the conversation that I can make out.

"Can't believe she ever ran."

"Who knew people actually lived like this?"

"Makes out shack in the forest look like...well a shack!" I let out a laugh when I hear Jasper say that but I think I end up laughing a little too loud.

Their conversation stops for a few seconds until Max says "is someone there?" and I realise that my game is up. No longer can I just sit there and listen in, now I have to show my face.