FROM DARE TO LOVE (Editing)✔

CHAPTER 47

I stand like a statue blinking at him, his sudden confession acted like a brick hitting me right on my face and showing me his side of the story. I knew he liked me, perhaps loved me but I never knew his feelings were so intense, so pure. I see his eyes getting moist and find my own eyes getting moist as well. He jerks my arm and turns around.

'Leave!' he says

But I didn't, I keep staring at his back, all the memories coming back to me but this time with a twist. Now, I am seeing everything in a new light. I didn't know how should I react. I am just overwhelmed with emotions. Without thinking twice, I walk towards him and hug him from behind tightly. I feel him stiffen, I closed my eyes tight letting tears fall. For the first time in fifteen years I am feeling guilty for what I did with Riad. I feel guilty for breaking his heart and for the first time I am cursing myself. I don't deserve this love; I deserve to be miserable. The taunts the insults everything that was thrown at Riad was for me, I deserved them.

'I am sorry...I am sorry...' I chanted, I felt him relax. This time I don't want to justify my pathetic act as a dare gone wrong, there is no justification for what I did. I felt his palms over my arm, then he jerks my arms from around him and turns to look at me.

'Don't be sorry, Aleesa. Your sorrys won't make a difference' he says, I closed my eyes and lowered my head in shame.

He held my arm and bring me closer, I didn't open my eyes. I don't have it in me to look into his eyes, I am so ashamed.

'And I said I loved you...but not any more... (I let more tears fall not opening my eyes) now I hate you...' he says bitterly. He pushes me and I fell few steps back. I deserve this hate, it's only his hate and I don't deserve his love.

Mustering all my courage I look up into his eyes, 'I hate you' he repeats. Though he says he hates me I see pain and love in his eyes. Even if his tongue lies but his eyes, they don't lie.

'Riad...I know my sorry will not help.... but...I will do anything...anything that will make up for the blunder I did' I say, I extend my hand to hold his but he moves his hand away from mine.

'You will do anything....Please get lost and never come close to me again...' he says.

Fair enough, I nod my head. If by me staying away he will get peace then so be it, if I can redeem myself by staying away from him then that is what I am going to do. He had always kept me his priority and now I will keep him as my priority. I nod my head and turn to leave. I place my hand on the door knob and turn my head to see Riad, he is looking at me. I see the same pain I had seen all those years ago. His eyes are moist; I see him clench his fists tightly like he wanted to stop me but instead is stopping himself. I look away and quietly leave his room.

I come back into my room, I dropped my shawl on the bed. Ruchi is fast asleep but sleep is far away for me. I place my palm over my mouth to muffle my sob. I hurried to the bathroom. I locked the door and turn around pressing my back to the wall I begin to cry.

So, this is why Riad hasn't exposed me yet. Because his love is stronger than the betrayal that I had done. Because he had promised to keep me happy, even though it meant his reputation getting soiled, even if it meant him loosing his die-hard friendship with Adnan. I fall to the ground and pressed my knees against my chest and bury my head into my knees crying badly.

I had always thought he was a loser, but in reality, it was I who was the loser. The biggest loser on this planet. I was such an idiot to have not seen his love.

He would have been my most priced treasure; I could have been the luckiest girl to have someone love me selflessly. What else do a girl want from a man, only a complete mutton head would loose a guy who loves her selflessly. Riad's love for me was unconditional and I lost that. I lost such a great blessing. I look it for granted. Thinking of all the miserable things I had done to him besides that night I felt really miserable for myself.

'Aleesa...you in? open the door...Dude...have you died in there?'

I wake up to Ruchi's screeching voice and loud banging on the bathroom door. I realized I had slept off on the bathroom floor. I sit up straight, I felt my head heavy with all the crying. Last night, I had cried a lot. In fact, I have never cried this much ever in my life.

'One minute' I reply as I stand up. I see my reflection in the mirror. I am looking no less than a zombie, with swollen eyes and lips, puffed tear stained cheeks and messy hair.

I washed my face many times.

When I come out from the bathroom Ruchi looks at me like I am some alien. She asks me if I am alright and nod my head, I lied to her that I was missing Adnan terribly last night. That's all. I guess I have become a professional liar because Ruchi accepted my lie.

Ruchi goes in with her dress for a bath and to freshen up. We were to have breakfast and leave but after yesterday night I want to just disappear from here.

I don't have any courage to face either Riad or Urooj. I am too ashamed of myself.

After Ruchi was done, I went to the bathroom and take a quick bath and dressed myself in a simple maroon Kurthi and black leggings. Ruchi is surprised when I say we are leaving now and there is no time for breakfast.

'But I want to stay longer...'she pouts

'If you want, you stay but I am leaving' I snap back at her. She is stunned by my tone. While Ruchi was in bathroom I had packed my bags. I am about to pick up my bag when I hear our door knock. Ruchi is sitting on the bed and refusing to get up from the bed because she is upset with my tone. I didn't bother requesting her.

I opened the door myself.

'Aleesa! Oh my God, Aleesa!' Hanan squeals happily and leaps forward hugging me tight. With the force with which she had launched herself on me I stumble few steps back. Ruchi is alarmed and stands up from the bed.

Hanan squeezes me tightly. I wonder what happened all off sudden that she is showing me so much love.

Five minutes later, she breaks the hug and holds my arm looking at me happily. I see her eyes twinkling and I smile.

'Kya Hua? Why so hyper' I ask smiling.

She nods her head happily and held my palms tightly in hers 'Aleesa...I am getting engaged to Riad...that too today' she announces. I hear Ruchi gasp behind me, but I, I felt like the earth has been snatched from underneath my feet.

Hanan hugs me tight.

Riad and his love was my blessing, but I disrespected it and walked over him and now my blessing has landed to Hanan. Hanan loves Riad, her love is unconditional, and Riad deserves all the love there is. Hanan's love will heal his past wounds, the one that I had given him. Maybe he will smile again, and be happy once again and for me that is what mattered.

I smile sadly as I hugged Hanan.