The Thrill of the Chase (Johnlock/Mystrade Teen!Lock)

Chapter Twenty Nine

(A/N Wattpad kept deleting my cute chapter and it made me upset so this is a sad chapter which wasn't meant to happen just yet. There are drug and rape references, and I'm sorry if it offends or upsets any of you in any way. It's not completely vital to the storyline, so if you don't wish to read it, then it's no big loss. I'm sorry about this, I really am :( Please comment/vote/share, it means a lot to me :)

-CH xx)

Chapter 29

Sherlock's POV

I absentmindedly stroked John's hair as he slept on top of me, deep in thought. His naked body pressed against mine, our body heat radiating off of each other. It was 2:37am, and I hadn't slept at all.

Mycroft's apology had me thinking about the past that I had so vigorously tried to forget about. I thought the memories of the past were long gone, since I deleted them a long time ago, but my hard drive had recovered the documents, metaphorically speaking.

I considered whether or not I should tell John about what had happened to me, and if I should tell him things I hadn't told anyone else about what helped cause that drug overdose.

What if he hated me after that? What if he thought I was disgusting and repelling? What if... What if he left me again? I wouldn't survive if that happened, I couldn't let it happen.

A loud sob escaped my lips and it woke John up.

He sat up confusedly, and looked at me, seeing tears pouring down my cheeks. John wrapped his arms around me tightly, as though trying to shield me from my overpowering emotions.

"Hey," he said softly, "what's wrong?"

I shook my head and cried louder into his chest. "I don't want to lose you, John!"

"Sherlock," John chuckled. "You'll never lose me, I promise," John buried his head in my curls as I continued to cry. "What brought all this on?"

"I'm sorry," I sniffed, tears still pouring down my face.

"For what?"

"My past. For not telling you."

"Tell me now then, Sherlock."

I forced myself to be composed externally, but on the inside I was a wreck. I felt ill with worry and pain, but I spoke anyway.

"At my precious school I used to get bullied mercilessly. Each and everyday I would be beaten to a pulp by one person or another, and sometimes multiple people at a time. Mycroft was once there for me, but soon he grew distant and moved away to go to college, and I had to much pride to go to anyone else. The only times when I would see Mycroft he would torment me, and made things just as bad as the others did. I felt alone and helpless, and really, I was

"I wasn't able to stop them from beating me, and the pain emotionally and mentally caused me to resort to drugs. Cocaine and heroin were the main two, but I experimented with other things too. One day at school they went to far and-" I choked up again, and John looked at me.

"What did they do, Sherlock?"

"They... They raped me, John." Before John could speak I continued with my story, though I could feel him shaking with anger, though I wasn't sure if he was angry at me or about other aspects. "That night I went home in such pain, but I couldn't tell anyone. I was embarrassed, and I was ashamed, ashamed that I allowed them to do it."

"'Them'? Who is 'them'?"

"A group of boys took turns. Anyway, I decided I wanted out. I didn't want to live anymore, so I tried overdosing myself. Mycroft found me and took me to the hospital, and he saved my life. I was never grateful for that until I met you. You're my reason for living, John. You've saved me so many times since I've known you. I love you so much, please don't leave me!" I cried.

"Sherlock, look at me!" John demanded, moving away, grabbing my head between his hands gently, making me look at him. "I am never going to leave you. It wasn't your fault that that happened to you, but I am so, so sorry that it did. I love you so much, and I will never let go of you, unless you should want me to. If I ever meet those people though, I swear..." John trailed off, once again shaking furiously.

"Thank you for understanding, John. I love you."

"And I love you too. My love for you is infinite, just remember that."

John clung to me throughout the night, and I was so very grateful to have him in my life. I loved him more than anything else in the world, and I thanked The Lord every day for him.