Writing About Love

Reminiscing

Jimin took a swig of his drink before standing up and stretching out his sore muscles. A look out the window told him he had been there for longer than anticipated and he pulled out his phone to see four missed calls from his roommate. Taehyung had always been his partner in crime since they both moved to Seoul and stayed at a share house together but recently Tae had been getting on his nerves. It's all because of Yoongi. Jimin shook his head of the thoughts before he dialed Tae's number.
"Jiminnie~ Where have you been? I made dinner tonight and you missed it. Four hours ago, actually." Tae always put on a cute face when he was mad and Jimin knew he was in trouble from the first syllable.
"I'm sorry Tae, I really am. I'm headed home now from the gym and I'll pick up ice cream on the way!"
"You really shouldn't eat dairy right after a work-out but I'll let it slid. See you in twenty minutes or I'm heading out to find you." The phone line clicked and Jimin knew Tae would hunt him down if he didn't follow through with it. He grabbed his backpack and turned out the lights before heading out the door towards the subway. The apartment he and Tae shared was only a twenty minute walk away but he figured he shouldn't cut the time limit too close and he could already feel his legs turning into jelly. He shouldn't have pushed his workout so hard but it was the only time he could get his mind to focus. Ever since April, his thoughts had been flooded by memories he shared with a certain blonde someone.
Yoongi had been an addiction from the start. His other friends would jump around with him and play all of the games he could come up with but this boy was so different. Yoongi would always smile at his antics but had only joined in his hyper activities a handful of times and for some reason, it just worked. Jimin always felt he could be himself and sit down every once in awhile and Yoongi could be hyper without people judging him. Jimin couldn't pinpoint when he started to catch feelings for the older boy but they hit him hard.
He started noticing the way Yoongi chewed on his lower lip when he couldn't find the right lyric to complete his song. He couldn't help but stare when Yoongi curled into a ball on his bed and his shirt would come up, exposing his back. He hung onto every laugh that his hyung would let out and strove to make him smile. It got to the point he couldn't hide it any longer. Namjoon, Yoongi's roommate, was the first to notice and for the first year he didn't let Joon corner him into an awkward situation. It wasn't until one day Yoongi came out of the shower with a towel dropping so low on his hips that it barely covered the necessities that Namjoon cornered him. He didn't even notice when Joon stepped in front of him as Yoongi's door closed he was so far gone in his mint colored daydreams.
"Jimin you really need to tell him." Jimin snapped out of his trance and almost groaned at the conversation he knew was coming.
"Joon, you know I can't. Yoongi would flip out and I'm not going to risk a friendship over some stupid attraction."
"Are you even trying to stop it? How long has this been going on now? You've been friends for over two years at this point, he's gotta know you're into him." Namjoon shook his head and turned so he could see Yoongi's door too.
"He doesn't even know I'm gay Joonie."
"He has to suspect it though. You and Tae are really close, he's never asked about it before?" Jimin thought back to the day Yoongi had come through the door of his apartment while Tae was wrapped around him, trying to grab the last chip bag from his hands. Tae was trying to distract him by rubbing himself all over Jimin but as Jimin had seen everything there was to offer before, he was immune. They had shared showers thanks to lack of time and only one bathroom but neither of them were attracted to the other in that way. Yoongi had turned a bright shade of red but he didn't ask any questions. He just mumbled something about lyrics and locked himself away in Jimin's room until an hour later.
"Maybe he suspects but I've never told him. Please keep my secret Joon. I'm begging you." He looked up into the taller boys eyes and pulled his best puppy dog face.
"He doesn't mind, Jimin. I promise. Hell, he lives with me and I've brought plenty of guys over." At this, Jimin's mouth dropped. There was no one the man in front of him was gay. "You're so focused on Yoongi you've never noticed Hoseok come over?" Jimin had noticed a few times when another person was in the small apartment but Joon was right, he never put the pieces together.
"You're joking." Jimin turned around to rest against the counter of the kitchen.
"Nope. That's why Yoongi always drags you out someplace for the night. We have an agreement though he never takes advantage of it." The way Namjoon spoke with a straight face through it all stunned Jimin. He was sure if he were telling anyone he would be a stuttering mess.
"Well, I might tell him I'm gay but how could I possibly tell him I can't get him out of my mind no matter how hard I try? It's had to have been a year by now Joon and I can't stop feeling this way. I think I'm in love with him." Jimin groaned and put his head in his arms giving Joon the perfect view over his shoulders.
"I think you just did." Everything froze in Jimin's mind. The wheels stopped turning so abruptly he thought he might faint. When he looked up in Joon's eyes they were looking past him into someone else's. Yoongi. He turned to face his mint haired other half and met dark brown eyes. His hair was still wet and dripping but the towel slung around his shoulders caught it before it reached his gray sweatshirt. His jeans hugged him in all the right places and Jimin knew he had been getting ready to leave for the concert Jimin bought them tickets for that night.
"Jimin?" His voice was shaking a bit and his hand was frozen in place by the side of his neck but he didn't move away.

Jimin would later remember this and think about how it could have gone if he'd stayed but his only thought was to leave as fast as possible. It was the last day he had ever seen Yoongi. The calls stopped after a week and the texts the next month. Every time Tae drank he would remind Jimin how stupid he had been but when they were sober it was never mentioned. He lost the love of his life and he was determined not to look anywhere but ahead from then on. A few times his hand would hover over Yoongi's name in his phone but how was he supposed to start the conversation?
"I know it's been a half a year but I still think of you everyday. Will you allow me to explain?" Never. Jimin got off of the train and rounded the corner to his apartment, stopping in the store there to get his ice cream. His arm was still halfway in the cooler right inside the door when the bell chimed and he heard the laughter ring out from the boy who filled his thoughts. It can't be.

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a/n: This story is already complete on my Archive of Our Own profile and on my Asianfanfics profile. I am new to wattpad and so I will be slowly transferring everything over as time goes by.