Writing About Love

Bear

   Jimin just gaped at Yoongi from across the table. He was sure he resembled a fish but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. Yoongi wasn't the kind of person who just blurted things out and hoped for the best. Jimin thought he'd at least have the benefit of leading the conversation when he started it but apparently Yoongi had enough of beating around the bush.
"Are-," He cleared his throat because suddenly it seemed a lot harder to speak. "Are you sure? You never seemed like the type to like... well, guys, in general. But me especially." His hand that was held in Yoongi's seemed to burn at the other's touch and he locked his eyes on that rather than look up into the questioning eyes.
"I've never really found other guys attractive but you kind of changed everything. I already knew I had feelings for you when you left but I probably wouldn't have ever said it was love until I couldn't let things lie the way they were after a few months."
"So you might not even like guys. There's a platonic kind of love too, Yoongi." His heart dropped.
"Well no shit, Jimin. What do you think Namjoon and I share?"
"I guess that's right." He wanted to do something with his hands to distract himself from the topic but Yoongi just held on tighter when he tried to pull away.
"Are you second guessing your feelings? Are you with Taehyung?" Jimin looked up at that, a slight frown marring his features.
"You know I'd never do that. That boy is a casanova and isn't tied down to anyone."
"What about the first question?" He felt Yoongi's eyes travel over his face as though he would find the answer to his question there. Or maybe he thought he'd lose Jimin again and he was trying to memorize everything there was to him.
"I think... I think I can try things but I don't want to go too fast until you're sure. I-I don't think I could just barrel through everything just to find out you don't even like guys."
"I'm pretty positive, Jimmine." The prospect sounded like heaven to Jimin but he was determined to do this right.
"Well you might think different when it's a cock in front of your face instead of a pretty girl." Yoongi's laugh rang out and Jimin was proud of himself for speaking in Yoongi's terms. Blunt and to the point was the language he had to adapt to convince Yoongi of his way.
"You're acting like I don't have one that I see everyday." Jimin felt a blush creep over his face at the way this conversation had taken a turn but he tried to ignore it.
"Are you saying you've already entertained the thought of sucking mine?" The blush definitely gave the sentence a more innocent air than it should ever have but Jimin refused to back down.
"If it meant having you back in any way, then yes. I have." Yoongi's eyes were smouldering and Jimin couldn't take the embarrassment anymore. He stood up and pulled Yoongi to the front of the store where they paid and left hurriedly. "They're going to think we did something bad back there if you keep looking like that."
"We did do something bad! Why would you talk like that in public? I'm going to die of embarrassment." He let go of Yoongi's hand finally and dropped towards the ground. He held his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths to clear his head. You'd think after living with Tae for so long he'd have adapted but his parent's had been very conservative and though he didn't lead a life they wanted and he held different views, some things like talking about sex still made him blush like a schoolgirl. He felt Yoongi pat his head though so he shot him a glare and stood up again.
"I didn't realize you were so sensitive. Taehyung would always joke about it but now I see he was right."
"Quit talking about it." He grabbed Yoongi's hand again in a bout of courage and continued dragging him back towards the station. "It's my turn to pick where we go now."
"Lead the way." And just like that things were back to normal. Throughout the rest of the day Jimin would break out in a full-body blush at the slightest reminder of their earlier conversation but he tried his hardest to maintain his dignity. The explored the newer shops in ever-rotating Hongdae and fell back into the swing of things without pressing any boundaries or talking about the absence they had taken from each other. It was as if it had never happened and that's the way the both wanted it to stay at the moment. They were too caught up in just reveling in the fact that they were together again. Towards dinnertime, Yoongi won Jimin a stuffed animal in an arcade.
"What'll you name it?" Jimin had an affinity towards stuffed animals and gave each of them a personality to match their names but Yoongi had always just brushed it off before and had never gone out of his way to humor Jimin's childish side that emerged around them.
"Yoongi."
"What?"
"It wasn't a question. It's his name. He matches your hair and I want a Yoongi I can yell at when the real one takes off for his studio like I can tell you're itching to do."
"I just don't handle big crowds well and everyone is here getting ready for Halloween."
"I know. It's not a bad thing." Jimin gave a soft smile and clutched the miniature to his chest. It was a raccoon but it was a mint color all over, the usual black and white not being bold enough to attract patrons. "Should we head back?"
"We can but only if you're ready too."
"I am. I'm kind of tired because I didn't sleep too well last night."
"Do you want to stop and get a sleep aid so it's better tonight?" Jimin smiled at the thoughtfulness Yoongi was showing but he shook his head.
"I'll be fine, I'm already tired and I have plenty of good thoughts from today to think about until I sleep. Nothing to stress over."
"If you say so." Yoongi sounded skeptical but for a bred insomniac he probably thought it strange to be able to just shut out stress. He slept in large bouts and took frequent naps but they were more to refresh his mind for new work than because he actually needed to sleep. He could fall asleep at the drop of a pin and stay motionless for hours but it was a skill he had to hone
Jimin snuggled up against Yoongi to keep them from being separated in the throngs of the crowd. Yoongi didn't protest at all and instead wrapped an arm around him for which he was thankful. The cold was never his strongest suit but Yoongi was a walking heater.
"Don't you think people will question this?"
"You and Taehyung get a lot closer."
"But Taehyung and I aren't gentle about it either. We rough-house a lot but never act cute together."
"You act cute plenty, you just can't see yourself when you get like that."
"Did you just call me cute?" Yoongi smirked at him and Jimin realized how close their faces were.
"Yeah, I guess I did." They walked in silence for a bit longer before they reached the station. Jimin directed them a bit off to the side instead of going in though. He wanted to ask the question he'd been thinking since just outside the cafe and he didn't want to ask while they were in the middle of a crowded subways amd Yoongi's studio had a stop before his house.
"What are we supposed to be? Are we together now?"
"We're whatever will make you happy, Jimin"
"I want you to be happy too." He looked down at the ground and kicked a rock.
"Boyfriend sounds a bit sappy but I'll take it."
"Are you sure?" Jimin felt a hand under his chin, lifting it up so that he was face to face with Yoongi. It was a gentle touch and it coaxed him away from his anxieties.
"I don't know, you tell me." And with that Yoongi brought his face closer and kissed him.