Manan ff : College Diaries

chapter 33 ( b )

Manik ( pov ) ( depressed ) : tumhe akele jeene ki adaat hogi! !!!!.....par mujhe nehin. .....main tumhare bina aapni life nehin jee sakta. .....
Getting no replies from him, I again started ranting " you know what. ....tumhe yaha ana hi nehin chahiye tha. ....yaha ake tum sirf aapna time waste kar rahe ho. ....kyon ki. ....mujhe tumse koi baat nehin karni. .... ( my heart :what a lie! !!!!!!)......so just leave me alone. ....jaise kal gaye the. .....we are nothing. ....we are just. .......
Before I could say any further, Manik took me in a bone crushing hug, literally suffocating me.
But, I also gave in. ....I melted. ....I hugged him back. ....burying my face in his chest.
Manik ( lovingly ) : itna gussa ho? ??????
Me ( calmly ) : hmm
Manik ( smiling ) : ab baat bhi nehin karogi? ?????
Me : hmm
Manik ( playfully ) : waise. ....tumhare paas baat karne ke liye bacha hi kya hai. ......sab kuch toh sunna chhuki. ....
Annoyed by his playful mode, I broke the hug and pretended to be angry.
Me ( pissed off ) : I am still mad at you. ....so leave. ....
As if,meri baat maane wala hai! !!!!!
That idiot, cupped my face and looked into my eyes.
Manik ( guilty ) : I am sorry. ....
Finally, he said it. My heart was jumping with happiness.
But, my stupid brain interrupted, reminding me of the fact that, how Manik left, when I asked him to kiss me.
Me ( pov ) ( heart broken ) : our relationship .....is not normal! !!!!.....maybe that's why. ....Manik didn't wanted to kiss me! !!!!.....maybe. ....he doesn't like me! !!!!......maybe. ....I am a burden on him! !!!!!......maybe. ....
I was literally dragged out of my sad story, when Manik spoke " Nandini. ....I am sorry. ....I am sorry that I didn't kiss you. ..."
On hearing this, my eyes became wide.
Me ( pov ) : holy shit! !!!!!!
Manik ( genuinely ) : I am sorry. ....because main nehin chahta tha. ....ki humari first kiss ki memory. ....tumhe ek mistake laage! !!!!......I didn't want. ....ki tumhe aisa laage. ...ki main uss situation mein tumhara advantage le raha tha! !!!!.....I always wanted our first kiss to be special. ....I wanted. ....
Before Manik could continue further, I pressed my lips on his.
I mean. ....I don't know ,if it's right or wrong? ????.....but about one thing I was very clear. ....that knowingly or unknowingly .....  I am falling in love with this Pervert of my life. ....
It took few seconds for Manik to digest the shock. But, when he did. ...he also started responding. Automatically, his arms where wrapped around her waist. While, his heart was going wild.
The kiss was a slow one, with full of unsaid emotions.
Breaking the kiss, Manik joined our foreheads.
Me ( scolding ) : kitna bolte ho! !!!!!!
Manik ( smirking ) : aur tum sunne ke bajae. ...kiss karti ho! !!!!.....Our first kiss! !!!!!
On hearing this, I started blushing.
Maybe. ...there is still some hope in our relationship. ....maybe. ....I can breakthrough the wall around me and trust someone. ....maybe. .....falling in love is not that scary. ......
All the while, I had been cooking up stories of my own, to ignore these feelings. But ,today I know,for Manik. ....I am his world. ....and he had proved it ,not once, but many times. .....
It's just that. .....I have my eyes closed. ......I still don't want to believe in love! !!!!!......because for me. .....love is pain. .....
Is love still a pain? ????????