Everything I Didn't Say (Last Words) | Luke Hemmings AU

08.

Sophia's surgery went as well as could be expected. There were no major complications, and although her recovery was expected to take a few months, she would be going home after only a three-day stay.

Unfortunately, the hospital did not have room for Luke. Which meant, he had to leave her at 8:30, when visiting hours ended. She hadn't woken up from surgery by that time, which worried him, but he took her hand, kissed her head, and promised to he back at 7am. Luke and I went home in silence. I drove, because he was crying most of the way. I took one of his hands in mine, and he gave it a gently squeeze, which I took to mean thank you. At home that night, Luke couldn't seem to relax, so I told him I'd order us some food and we'd watch a movie to distract him. I ordered a pizza and put on a Lifetime movie just before it arrived. When the movie ended around midnight, I went upstairs to bed, leaving Luke asleep on the couch. I promised myself I'd clean up tomorrow. I really appreciated the fact that Luke and I can just hang out, like best friends.

I woke up the next morning around 6:15 and wasn't surprised to see Luke in the kitchen, fully dressed and doing dishes.

"I meant to do those before you got a chance," I told him.

"It's okay," he said with a half-smile. "It's almost done. I needed to distract myself. I hardly slept last night."

I gave him an apologetic look and started a pot of string coffee. A few minutes later I poured Luke a large travel mug of it, with a splash of milk, and put it next to a small bag of snacks he was bringing to the hospital with him. "Get going," I told him. "Visiting hours open in 30 minutes."

"Thank you for everything," Luke said as he walked to the door. I walked behind him with his food and coffee and handed both to him after he had his jacket on. "I've rented a car for you," he told me. "I've having it brought here for you around 9. Take the day off, see a movie. Shop. There are gift cards to about a dozen stores in the far left drawer in the kitchen. Thank you again." Then he was gone before I could respond. I made a mental note to text him and say thank you, when I knew he'd be done driving.

I finished cleaning the kitchen, and then I went upstairs to get dressed before the car got here. After a quick shower, I dressed in my lazy day clothes, even though I planned on going out. I put on black athletic joggers, a big white pull over sweater, Adidas sneakers, and a gold watch. After that, I dryed my hair and put it up in a bun, and applied minimal makeup. I puttered around until 9 when as white truck pulled in the drive, behind a matte black Lexus. Holy heck, the car looked like it cost more than my life was worth. A man got out of the Lexus and brought a set of keys to the door and then got into the passenger side of the truck and left. I switched my wallet, charger, and phone to a smaller, black grey leather purse, along with a few random things like my hospital ID, gum and earbuds. After double checking that the door was locked and house was clean, I hopped into the Lexus and pulled carefully out of the drive. I began driving towards town, unsure where exactly I was going. Then, knowing how I wanted to spend my day, I parked in front of the florist.

Inside, I purchased the 4 largest bundles of pink tulips and had them combined into a square glass vase. Back in the car, I headed to the hospital. It was killing me that I didn't know what was going on with Soph. Once I arrived at the hospital, I signed in to visit the pediatric wing and I found Sophia's room number. I entered and saw an empty bed. My heart sunk. I knew there were endless possibilities of where she could be, but the worst popped into my head and I couldn't get it out. I ran to the desk and asked about her. A nurse I worked with named Jen told me to ask a doctor. I saw a doctor walking past and told him I needed to know where Luke was, and more importantly, Sophia.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Sophia needs another operation. She's in now, I'm not sure about your friend." I thanked him as tears began spilling from my eyes. I returned to Sophia's room and placed the tulips on the table, then texted Luke but got no reply. I walked to the staircase leading to the roof, and as I ascended, I heard music coming from above me. I opened the door and saw Luke leaning over the railing, with Free Falling playing loudly over a speaker I couldn't see.

"Well, well, well. Look at you, sneaking up your secret spots. How'd you get up here, anyway?" He looked over his shoulder at me, and gave me a sad smile.

"I climbed the fire escape. Couldn't be helped, I needed this view." My eyes widened and I shook my head.

"You're crazy, you know that?" I said as I stepped closer to him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me in until my head was on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. "Keep me sane," he said through tears. "I'm so worried. What if I'm mot enough for her? What if I'm not enough for you?"

"Luke, what are you talking about?" I pulled away to look him in the eyes.

"I want to be enough for both of you. I want to take care of Sophia, but I'm doing crappy at it. Look where she is now. I want to be enough for you but all I do is mess things up and break down. I want to be enough but every time I try I realize that I'm no good. Please help me. I can't live alone."

I pulled him in again. "You're enough, Luke. You always have been. This thing with Sophia, is not your fault. Okay? You've done everything you could. You're her world. And she's yours. You always have each other. Luke, you need each other. I see how much you love her, and that's what she needs- love. If you give her that, you're giving her everything."

He sighed. "What about you? How can I be good enough for you too?"

"What do you mean?"

"Angela, don't hate me, but I think I love you."