Under a Paper Moon (Jalex)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Alex's POV

I'd gone back into that 'teenage love' mood where everything's all roses and happy things, well basically, sleeping with items of his clothing just because they smelt like him. I mean of course I slept with Jack aswell, I had done for years but he was beginning to realise his wardrobe was becoming smaller and smaller due to the fact I'd been hiding his clean stuff after he'd worn it to sleep with. I wasn't creepy, he was practically my husband. "Lex? Have you seen my.." He walked into the front room to see me sat upon a pile of his clothes, attempting to hide them but in relatiy most of them were oversized and I was too thin to hide them but the one I was wearing right now was hiding the fact I just had boxers on. "Did you not think I'd take notice when I had nothing left to wear?" He slumped down beside me, I enhaled his sent before frowning. "You don't smell like you." I sulked, clinging onto the clothes that still had a remaining amount of it. "I showered dude, you know when someone washes? Like all these clothes need washing soon you know?" Jack attempted to pull one out from underneath me which caused the domino affect of me falling, luckily into his lap but I still fell. "No! They're mine!" I whined as I pulled the ends of the sleves over my hands to signify this was not coming off at all, as much as he tried it was not happening. "You can keep up to three, maybe four. But I do need clothes too?" He did have a point but I wasn't sure what was wrong with me I was all lovey dovey and cute when just a few days ago I wanted to fuck him senseless. What was happening to me?

I eventually find some trackies to jump into once it had gotten too cold when the heating had gone off to allow Jack to have his shower but they weren't mine either. He could have my clothes for all I cared, it didn't bother me I just liked his more than mine for several reasons, they smell nice, most of them are mine anyway and his are bigger because he doesn't like skinny fitted clothes. So I could just doss around all day in his clothes being plain lazy simply just because I could. He rushed around trying to find his car keys before I handed them to him from his pants pocket, "Some of us do have to go to work you know?" Jack silently chuckled before planting a kiss on my forehead and heading out the door. I hated being left alone because there was nothing to do..unless I wrang Rian..Yes! Friends. I think I still had those? "Hey Ri? Could you come over, I mean if you two aren't busy?" "Why not Zack too? Oh I'm sorry man he's having one of those days." And with that I hung up. 'One of those days' Oh right, one of those days which occured every single day where his own boyfriend can't go and see other people for a change.

Don't get me wrong I was happy they were together after all this time but they never even spoke to us, we'd try but mostly there'd be no respone or we'd just be shot down. Maybe for a change I'll do some productive rather than mope around the house doing nothing but moan. But Jack'd already done everything? 5pm and no dinner. Cooking! Could I cook? I wasn't sure but I was going to try seen as Jack'd always cooked for me I should do it for him for a change. I knew work would always stress him to hell and back and I knew it had when he threw his bag on the floor when he came in. I scattered around the kitchen to make sure everything was in place with the food on the table already plated and ready. "You know what, I fucking give up w-" His tone of voice became calmer and he stopped pulling at his hair when he saw me stood by the side of the table crying already due to the fact he was angry and I couldn't change that. I watched as he covered his mouth before crashing into me and squeezing so tight I thought I was going to die, "Shhh, I wasn't shouting at you baby." He hushed me and kissed my hair. 

I'd managed to stop crying but I still felt like utter shit and I knew Jack did too but why couldn't I do something to sort this out already? "Please don't." I managed to croak out, 'don't what?' he mouthed at me. "Don't do this whatever this is. Cuddling me and kissing me like it'll make everything better because we both know it won't, will it? I thought I knew how to love you but I clearly don't if you still come home in a bad mood every night when you've been doing this job for a while now. What is so wrong with me? Am I that disgusting to you that I can't make you happy? Excuse me if I'm being a moody little bitch lately and my emotions are up and down like some kind of fucking yo-yo but this is how you make me feel." By now he'd completely backed down and was slowly walked away, admiting defeat. "Maybe I was never good enough for you in the first place." His voice broke at that point but he was out the door and gone.

How the hell was I going to fix this one?

Jack's POV

I hadn't thought about running outside in the pouring rain in just boxers and a t-shirt but whatever. I hadn't gone far when I heard my name being called back by Alex who I assumed was running after me, "JACK! FUCKING STOP THIS NOW!" He caught up with me but I wasn't taking it, he'd just pretty much told me I wasn't good enough, well that's how my mind took it but I knew that's how he felt too.  "You're gonna get blue balls!" He attempted to lighten the mood but seriously, not even working, "I don't care about blue fucking balls. You're better off without me and all I ever did was upset you so what was the point?!" We'd been getting at eachother a lot, one day we'd be madly in love with but others we'd want to kill eachother literally. But I realised from the day I asked him to marry me, I didn't love him, I was IN love with him and I was in deep. Balls deep. I turned around to see possibly the worst thing imaginable. Alex was sat in the middle of the road, pulling his hair, gasping for air and shaking. Panic attack. I had caused him to have his first freaking panic attack in years. Good going Jacko. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me before skidding on the gravel and holding him close to my chest, rocking him and cradling him gently from side to side. "It's okay baby, everything's gonna be okay" I hadn't called him baby before but judging by his repsonse of calmer breathing and steadiness, he liked it.

"L-listen Jay. I'm sorry. I know you try your hardest and I should appriciate it more because we both get sad sometimes a-and it's because we're so alike that we're together and-" "I'm in love with you, asshole." I smirked to myself, aware that Alex was too busy crying into my chest to see it. There we were sat in the middle of the road down the dead end street outside our house, listening to eachothers heartbeats. "Lets go get warm, yeah? You wanna go?" I cooed softly before he nodded and I carried him inside, bridal style. I loved talking about weddings now just because I knew I was having one soon. "Jay? Have you been working out?" Lex sniffled, wrapping his sleeves around his knuckles to warm up quicker. "Oh these guns? All nat-u-ral." I joked causing him to grin a little before muttering how much of a twat I was. "Alex thinks Jack's comfier now." He snuggled even further into my chest before slipping away to sleep. I had a freaking 26 year old man snuggling into me whilst he was asleep and potientally drooling and me but I wouldn't change that for the world.