I swear, I'm not suicidal

12 : s m a l l t o w n

My eyes filled with tears as I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from crying but I just can't hold it anymore. I've been crying a lot lately, I have too much on my plate right now. But right now was different, I was crying over a boy. I've never cried over a boy. When Dylan cheated on me with Kayla, I didn't cry, I was too mad to cry.

I was in my most vulnerable state. I was in my weakest then I realized. I never stopped loving Dylan. Even with everything that had happened, I just can't hate him. I loved him too much to let him go so easily.

Should I call him?

No.

Aubrey, he cheated on you. WITH YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND! That's the worst thing a person can do. And he did it. To you.

But I love him. I thought.

Why does he have to do this to me? Why didn't he just leave me alone? Did he think I would come back crawling to him? What does he want? To make my life miserable? Or does he really care about me? Is this a joke? Well, it's not funny!

The door opened and it showed Blake. He was holding a bunch of movies in one hand and two beer bottles in the other. I ran towards him and grabbed the beer bottle. I chugged it down like there's no tomorrow. The sensation burned my throat but I ignored it.

Once I noticed that nothing's enter my mouth anymore- which meant it was finished. I grabbed the second bottle without glancing at Blake. I drank it like how I had just drank the first one. Quick. When I finished, I took deep breaths and looked up at Blake. his face was expressionless.

He chuckled and left the room, leaving the movies on the floor. I scanned through the movies. Two chick flicks. Three horror movies. Two action movies.

50 first dates. A walk to remember. The conjuring. Annabelle. Insidious. Mission impossible : ghost protocol. 21 jump street.

I picked 21 Jump Street and waited for Blake to come back. He came back with five bottles of beer. My eyes twinkled with excitement. I'm gonna get drunk tonight! Well, morning. I grabbed a bottle and handled Blake the movie. He place it in and grabbed a bottle for himself then sat down beside me on the bed. He pressed play on the remote then the movie started.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked without leaving his gaze on the TV.

"Not really" I answered, remembering the message. One huge break-up didn't make me cry but a message did. Wow.

He sighed and looked at me. "Alright". He took another swing from his drink.

We continued watching the movie in comfortable silence. We laughed every now and then. I stole glances on him when he wasn't looking at me. I just hope he didn't notice me.

*~*~*~*

I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating on my pillow. I groaned at my phone. My head is hurting so much I think I'm gonna die. I got it without even checking who called me at nine in the morning.

"What" I answered impolitely. Oh who am I kidding, who wouldn't be snappy in the morning? Especially with a killer hangover.

"Wow, you're in a good mood" Zach said on the other side of the phone. Last time I heard from him was when he was in a giddy good mood. Before he threw a tantrum and was in his room all day long.

"Like I said, what do you want" I asked trying to be nice but my headache is killing me.

"There's a guy here looking for you"

My heart started beating faster and I couldn't speak. Was it Dylan? Did he fly all the way here? "Does he have a name?" I managed to choke out.

"I think it was Mase or Chase. Not sure" I'm a bit disappointed. But I don't know a Chase...