One Night Stand

Chapter 8

Chloe's POV

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No!

I cannot be pregnant! How the hell can I be pregnant?! What am I gonna do? I can't raise a baby alone

I....i....i

What do I do?

I mean, there's only 3 options really isn't there? Have a baby and be a mom, have the baby adopted or.....

I can't get rid of it, it's my child

Abortion is out, I couldn't live with myself if I did that, it's not my baby's fault I made a stupid mistake

So that's it

Can I actually keep this up? I mean, can I hide my pregnancy for the rest of the school year? I guess I can probably hide the bump, I'll be four months pregnant when we finish school, I won't be that big surely

I think I'm gonna keep it, I couldn't give up my baby, that would kill me

Dear god I'm so confused, I can't believe this is happening to me, of all the people, why me?

I guess I have to tell Ryan, he's obviously not gonna want to be involved but he deserves to know he's gonna be a father

Oh god my mom, what will she say? She's always been super anti everything, she's gonna hate me...

It all comes crashing down on me, the weight of the decisions I now have to make

Stanford, I can't go if I'm pregnant, what if I don't get in again? I had this, everything is ruined

It's all such a mess

I cry for a while, just cry on my bathroom floor, I can't handle this, I can barely handle myself, a baby? What if I mess up? What if something happens to it? What if something happens and it's my fault?

It's all just spinning around in my head and I feel so dizzy, I'm so tired so I get up and just about get to my bed, I crawl in and lay down

No one at school can know, it'll be so much worse if they find out, my life will be a living hell

But if I tell Ryan he'll probably end up laughing about it with his friends and everyone will find out

I feel like I'm gonna pass out so I just lay on my back and look at the ceiling, trying to stop everything from spinning

I can do this can't I?

I can handle this, I have to handle this, I cannot even think about aborting my baby, I'd hate myself forever if I did and I couldn't give it up

Of all the times I dreamed about Ryan finally noticing my existence in a nice way none of it ended up like this

How did I get here? I knew I shouldn't have gone to that stupid party, of course someone was planning something, they wouldn't have invited me otherwise

I decide to take a nap and then I'll go see a doctor this afternoon, I need to get this mess figured out

I've gotta make this work somehow

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But can she figure this out? All alone? Poor her in this position, will she be okay? Xoxo