The Fake Nerd

Chapter 23

I follow Kendra numbness spreading through me. Riker could die and it's all my fault. Kendra leads me up the stairs to a room with all black walls and a white floor. The bed was a dark navy blue and the nightstands next to it are white. The theme repeated throughout the room furniture. Kendra stands in front of me in long black jeans and with a long gray shirt with the words "Don't grow up it's a trap" sprawled across it. She smiles sadly at me and walks to a white door in  the corner of the room reveling a walk in closet. I walk slowly to her trying to keep myself steady. My body feels like jello and i'm burning with guilt as it spreads through me like a disease. I bite my lip to keep in a cry. Kendra walks out of the closet with a small stack of clothes in her hands. "Here, shower is right there" She says handing my the clothes and walking out of the room and shutting the door. I walk to the white door she pointed and open it. The walls are white and it's the size of a bedroom. It was set up with great care and beauty. I shut the door walking close to the shower that sits next to the tub. Tears bunch around my eyes as i strip of my clothes sliding into the shower. I turn on the water letting it pour down my back as i let out a strangled cry. My chest feels like someone is prying it open from the inside. I scream into my hand muffling it. I sink to the floor letting myself cry. Everything is my fault this all happened because of me. Pink streaks from Riker's blood splatter the bottom of the shower swirling there way to the drain in the shower. It only ignites me even more guilt flooding every pore in my body eating into me. I cry  strangled sob and try to breath the water water spattering and soaking into my bones. I close my eyes and inhale through my nose trying to calm myself. Stop i think. No more i'm done I scream in my mind. James crossed a line it's a real war now. I wash the blood and dirt off of me growling and cursing at James pure anger coursing through me. I shake from the amount of anger coursing through me and breath through my mouth calming myself slowly. I have to stop breaking i think and turn off the shower. I stand taller no matter what I'm going to end this little game that James made. I pick up the clothes Kendra gave me holding in a laugh. I slip on the pair of mermaid scale leggings that hug my curves and a sweatshirt that says "Psycho but cute". I pick up my clothes and fold them into a neat ball hiding them underneath the black hoodie. I look in the mirror and flinch. My eyes are red and beaten raw looking. My brown hair is drenched and soaks into the exposed part on my shoulder. My cheek holds a few days old bruise that is a sickening color of purple and green with tints of blue. My lips are anchored into a flat line making me look tired. I run a hand through my hair droplets of water streaking across my hand. I take an large inhale of breath glaring at myself. I stand straighter the bathroom light illuminating my skin. My feet move before i relieve and i march down the stairs guilt creeping into my head drowning me refusing to let me go as i sink deeper. I let a surge of anger course inside of me instead breaking the chain slightly letting me up for air. I walk the rest of the way down my clothes bunched up in the crook of my elbow. i reach the bottom and see Mason biting into a burrito that happily chewing. His bare chest is exposed his six pack on full display. I remember shamelessly his warmth as i hugged him and how his muscles felt as they shifted across my back. I walk into view sitting on the bar stool across the counter. I keep my eyes away from him and draw patterns on the counter. "Ava" He says his voice tight. I look up at him slightly confused and he stares intensely at me. "How did you get that bruise" He says his voice calm, but his eyes are fiery and all his muscles are tense. I bring my fingers up and touch the delicate skin my cheek stinging slightly at my touch. "It was nothing" I say avoiding his question. I bring my gaze down back to the counter and draw invisible patterns. "Ava" He growls his voice deep and threatening. "It's nothing" I say again keeping my eyes on the counter. I feel him next to me as he puts his fingers under my chin lifting my eyes to his piercing gaze. I swallow slightly and take my chin away from his fingers. "Who did that " He ask his voice dangerously low. I feel a unwilling spread of fear. James use to sound like that when he would get angry with me. "Leave it alone" I  say willing my tone to stay even and not break. He nods a fire in his eye "I will find out" He says and walks past me crushing me in the deadly silence.