Weekend Write-In Story Collection

Modern Fiction Writing

In 500 words, imagine what happens when a skull is discovered where it doesn't belong. Written for the Weekend Write-In prompt themed "Skull". 4 - 7 September 2015

Imagine what happens when a high school student begins writing a novel with today's diverse inspiration.

The Albino Black Lesbian Unicorn

"What are you working on, Sweetheart?"

"Our English homework assignment," Elizabeth said as she looked up from her screen. "Miss Wolstenholm told us to write an opening paragraph for a novel. Today she talked about setting scenes, introducing main characters and creating interest for the readers — I think I've finished it."

"Show me what you've written."

Maria turned and held out her iPad with a proud smile, which slowly faded as her mother read:

The black albino beast folded her wings as she settled her hooves into 2064 again from her trip back to the months before the beginning of the ongoing interplanetary war. All around her was chaos. Zombies were scavenging through the recent battle scene. A severed head landed beside her followed by two freshly cleaned skulls. "Neigh, you'll not scare me," she shouted, "I'll find out who murdered Margarita, my lover." She bared her fangs and flared her nares, but decided not to cast a spell. Sending a pulse of illuminating energy out her single spiralled horn to light her way, she cantered off into the dark and stormy night that it was.

"There's a lot of things going on here. You seem a bit unfocused in your direction. Can you narrow it down a bit?"

"That was my problem, Mama. I couldn't decide where to take the story, so I thought I'd start by including the current necessary non-discriminatory themes: albino, black, Hispanic, LGBT. Then I thought I'd write something in the popular genres: fantasy, time travel, horror, zombies, vampires, magic spells, supernatural powers, science friction. This one has them all and it even includes the classic dark and stormy night opening."

"I think you mean science fiction. You also need more letters in your LGBT; isn't there a Q in there now, and some other letters? But where's reality?"

"Get real, Mama. Nobody but nobody who wants to be a popular writer writes real stuff these days. Straight stuff is weird, reality is unreal; it's for people with no imagination."

"I seem to have missed the shift."

"My protagonist is a confident albino black lesbian vampire flying unicorn with magical abilities and fluent command of English. Maybe I should make her multilingual, that would add more dimension to her character."

"You've missed handicapped."

"Mama, nobody is handicapped anymore; they have impairments. But you're right, I do need to include impairments. Maybe her murdered lover had a missing leg. No! Much better, she has a missing leg. Wow! A bionic right foreleg. I'll make it pink. What else do I need, Mama?"

"How about a telescoping horn?" she said with a loud laugh, hoping to show her daughter how silly things were becoming.

"Great! She could pull it in and disappear among a herd of horses. What a wonderful disguise that would be."

"But the pink foreleg?"

"I'll give her chameleon powers."

"But Sweetheart, this doesn't work for me."

"Mama, get that old Shakespeare and Dickens stuff out of your skull; it no longer belongs."