Prologue

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When the sun shines at its brightest, the shadows everyone drags behind them day after day suddenly become visible to the world. Most people wouldn’t even think twice about what the shadows mean, how much pain they had witnessed. When the light is so illuminating, it is easy to forget about the darkness that lurks all around us, waiting to come out as soon as the light is extinguished. Our shadows are our reminders.

Just like our shadows, our pasts follow us everywhere. We try to leave them behind, but they come at us nonetheless. They are part of us. My shadow was something I wished I could leave behind. I wanted to rid myself of the darkness that still clung to me so tightly, but I knew it was a hopeless pursuit.

If only I could fight the nightmares that plagued me every night. If only I could burn the memories from my mind the way the fire burned the flesh from my bone. If only I could go one night, just one night without reliving my encounter with death. As hard as I tried, my shadows would not seize to haunt me.

I still saw the ghost of his face every time I closed my eyes. Those midnight ovals always had that way of looking into my soul. He had left me for my dead. He didn’t come to save me. After everything, he just let me die. It was a tough bone to swallow, but what were my options? How was it that I still loved a man that seemed to care so little about me?

The universe denied me even small periods of peace. I was constantly plagued by something. I just hoped the hell I now found myself in would soon end. Or otherwise I feared that I would start believing that death would be the only way to end my suffering.

Shadows, once they were there, only became bigger and less distinguishable. There was no way to get rid of them. I just had to learn to accept mine before it was too late.  

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