Dan and Phil Adopted Me

Chapter 4

Blair's POV

Flashbacks play over and over back in my head of what happened earlier, while I sit on the cold, wet bench in London. These small flashbacks send me back further and further with each one, all the way to when I was 9.

"Mom! Are you coming to tuck me in?!" I yell. I'm laying in my mother's bed, looking down at the ashes spilt onto the faint yellow mattress. She has been in that bathroom for a while, and all I'm wondering is if she would ever finish taking a dump and walk in here to lay down with me.

Of course I didn't know what was really happening in that bathroom at the time.

"I'll be there in a second honey." I hear her slur through the thin walls. My severe separation anxiety starts to take over as I lay there all alone. My small body finds it's way underneath the blankets, and my eyes linger on the burn scars that have from since I was a baby in my stoned mother's thin arms.

I watch the clock and hours begin to pass. Last time I bugged mom about coming in here to tuck me in, she yelled at me, so I am afraid to ask her again, but all I wanted was her arms to wrap around me, and for me to feel safe again. My heavy eyelids glance over to the clock one last time. It read 3:43 am, and suddenly my eyes couldn't stay open any longer. I had fallen asleep.

This is how most nights usually went.

I was interupted my flashback with the wetness of tears on my own cheek, then suddenly another distant memory came back.

With the little cow in one had and Angie's  hand in the other I walk through the divided doors. Walking into hospice was like experiencing a depressing hell. Angie, however, seems used to all of this. Well, I guess she is the nurse that sent my father here. Walking into the room my dad was in was five times more depressing. He looked so dead, and all I wanted to do was cry, right on the spot. But I knew I had to get through it all.

"Daddy?" I squeak. He makes a noise I don't really know how else to describe but pain. I pull a chair and sit right next to him. Angie sits on the chair next to me holding my hand. I lay my hand gently on top of his. "I love you dad." Is all I can say.

We've always been able to speak without speaking. We could bond over TV and video games, and it wasn't uncomfortable. It was all that I ever wanted or needed, and now it is being ripped away from me.

Suddenly he begins to say something, but I can't make out what it is. "Oh honey, he said that he doesn't want you to hold his hand." Still to this day I don't know what he meant or why he said it. I let go anyways. "I'm going to middle school next week I say." But he just nods. Small talk was never our thing.

Soon after a long stretch of silence and my eyes glistening, he finally stutters something audible. "I l-love you B-blair, and I am so pr-roud of you. I know you will do good things in the future." My thirst begins to thicken and my eyes begin to well up. "I love you too daddy."

Angie senses me about to cry and asks me if I want to leave now. I don't really want to leave, because I don't know if I will ever see him again, but I also know that I need to go before I break down in front of him. The small nod that I gave her was one of the worst decisions of my life. Then I was outside of the door while Angie talked to my uncle. I don't know exactly what they are discussing, but when do I ever? Suddenly I remember what I forgot. Quickly I run back into my fathers room to give him something that meant great things to us both. My stuffed cow. Gently I put it in the almost lifeless arms, then walk away, going back to the car with Angie. It took 17 seconds exactly until I broke down in tears.

I am hit with the harsh floors of reality when my shoulder is nudged. When I look up I see a man standing in front of me. He's wearing black skinny jeans and a black jumper. His hair is styled in a clean cut fringe with waves slightly peaking out. His eyes seemed warm with care and kindness as he smiled at me with the one thing that was the most distinctive of his features... a small dimple poking popping out.
"Hi" he simply states.
I just look up at his caring face with my sad eyes with no real distinguished color.
"Hello" I answer.
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I'm sorry I didn't update quickly. I promise I tried to update earlier, I just had a slight breakdown in the middle of writing this so I had to stop writing for the night. I want to clarify that when I said that this might be based on my past, I meant like how she had those flashbacks. Those all happened to me so yea.
Well, hopefully I don't either die or have a crisis or I might not update tomorrow, but I'm going to try harder to update daily... BYeEeEE!