circus - joshler

_whip_

josh tensed all his sore muscles when he awoke on the cold grass the next morning. the sun was bubbling over the horizon and sparkling off the dew of the grass. over his brow, he could see his fiery red hair illuminate, but looked away when the color matched tyler's favorite red lipstick.

tyler.

just the name pushed josh to the moon and back, while simultaneously pulling him miles into the ground. it was no way to live, but he couldn't go back. tyler had used him to get away from their boss without so much as a head's up. tyler was a dick, frankly.

the sun continued to climb in the sky and josh had to shield his eyes. he glanced to his side and saw the familiar train tracks a few yards away. his curious eyes wandered down the tracks in the distance until they were met with a train several miles away across the flat land.

josh sighed to himself, "jeez, if i had of known we were so close to the next stop i wouldn't have jumped off of the fuckin' train."

he rubbed a hand over his back where it had impacted the hard ground. he thought of tyler's sad eyes before his jump. he remembered tyler's perfect mouth on him, taking him in. josh moved his hand to his lap and couldn't help but palm himself through his clothes.

he would do anything to be with tyler now.

josh pondered going back, but it was too late for that.

right?

******

the train had been stopped for hours, but tyler was too exhausted to get up. after josh's sudden departure, heartbreak was already taking a toll on tyler, and had been since about 3 a.m. when he figured out he wouldn't be sleeping that night. now all tyler could do was stare at the back wall and pray that the ground would swallow his body whole.

the sound of the door opening behind him made tyler jump a little.

"josh?" he sniffled, turning his head to see who it was.

in a second, he was yanked off the the bed and being held against the wall by his throat. the smell of pete's stale breath invaded his nostrils.

"w-where the fuck is dun?" pete said, clearly buzzed and enraged.

tyler's face got hot; partly at the sound of josh's name, partly out of fear of his boss.

"he-he's gone." tyler squeaked.

"gone where, joseph?"

"he, uh, jumped out of the train, like, 5 miles back." tyler managed to say with his trachea being crushed.

pete stepped back and took his hands off tyler, before crossing them across his chest.

"you see, tyler, that just doesn't work for me," pete paced the room. "i was this close to finally getting what i've been waiting for from mr. dun- and the motherfucker knocked me out."

pete coughed to regain his composure while tyler shifted awkwardly in place.

"so, while i was 'incapacitated' he came back here- judging by the hair dye on your disgusting hands, you two made love in celebration of my crushing defeat."

"no . . ." tyler started.

"i'm not done, joseph," the ringleader hissed, "long story short, he left you because he realized what a little slut you are, isn't that right?"

tyler sobbed, but he had no tears left. he sank onto his bed and covered his ears.

"stop it! that's not true!"

"oh, i hope you don't think i'm stupid, tyler! little bitch thinking that i wouldn't figure out that you wanted josh all to yourself and i would just disappear, huh? answer me, you whore!"

"f-fine." tyler muttered.

"what's that?"

"fucking fine." tyler glared back a tad too harshly.

pete clicked his tongue, "you know what, joseph? i don't like your attitude."

"w-wait!"

"why don't i just give you what your boyfriend missed out on?"

******

tyler drifted back into reality some time later. still laying face down on the bed, he heard the vague sound of pete buckling his belt a few steps away from the bed.

"you've lost the fight you used to have in you," pete said, unimpressed, "dun was a fighter and it made me hard as hell."

tyler gritted his teeth, but didn't respond.

"god, you bitch, don't just lay there."

no response.

"i made you well aware what the fuckin' consequences of joining my circus would be. i would give you food and shelter after your parents abandoned you, and i could fuck you whenever i wanted, remember? i'm not dealing with your hissy fits, kid."

pete was met again with silence, which only pissed him off further.

"all the other people in this place ask for drugs or booze or money after we fuck," pete shrugged, "what do you want? this is a one time offer."

tyler barely even breathed in response.

"fuck it. nevermind. i've got a show to put on."

"wait." tyler objected.

pete stopped and turned on his heel, "what is it, joseph?"

"just give me something strong," tyler stared sadly at his hands, "something to make me forget . . ."