circus - joshler

_big top_

josh sighed softly to himself as he reached to feel an empty space in his bed out of habit. a strong sense of loneliness echoed through his head as he stood out of bed to look out his window. he was honestly shocked that he got any sleep last night with the thoughts of his ex resounding through his head and the constant, aggravating noise of the circus setting up for their next show. the once empty lot next to josh's house was now the temporary home of a giant red and yellow tent and the many costumed people running around and prepping themselves. josh considered attending the show, but with the inconvenience the circus had already brought him, he dismissed any thought of going.

a knock at the door interrupted josh's spite for a moment and he pulled on a shirt and ran a hand through his hair before answering it. he hoped to god debby wouldn't be behind the door, but if she was, josh couldn't look as hopeless as he felt.

to his relief, it was only jesse.

"hey, man," jesse pushed past his friend and waved two pieces of paper in josh's face, "i already got us tickets for tonight. the show looks like it's gonna be awesome."

josh frowned and scratched his neck, "i don't think i feel up to it, jess. i'm pretty tired and i need to clean this place up a bit..." josh eyed his disheveled bachelor pad that matched his state of mind. debby left with her belongings in such a hurry that anything of josh's was tossed aside onto the floor.

"c'mon, dude! she was just a girl. i guarantee there will lots of hotter chicks there tonight-"

"i'm serious, jesse," josh cut in, sitting down on his bed, "i'm done dealing with girls right now."

"alright, fine, josh," jesse turned to leave, exhausted by josh's negativity, "date a guy then."

josh raised an eyebrow to his friend's back, but quickly dismissed the thought of his statement being serious. jesse closed the door behind him, leaving as fast as he came. josh still clutched his ticket for the circus in his hand and ran his fingers over the smooth paper as he read the print, "'come one, come all, to see the wentz circus! the greatest show on earth!' " he thought to himself for a moment before making his decision, "screw it. i deserve a little fun."

******

tyler awoke and momentarily panicked that he wasn't in his own bed. the realization that he was lying in wentz' musty train car had him wanting to crawl out of his skin. he shifted his focus away from his predicament to feel for the usual shaking of the moving train. everything was still so he knew that they had arrived in the new town and his boss had left to prepare all while he was sleeping.

"crap, why didn't anyone wake me up? i gotta get ready!" tyler muttered quickly to himself, pausing for a moment after he tossed wentz' filthy blanket aside and found himself naked. a sudden flow of memories he had repressed almost brought tears to his eyes. he frantically tried to ignore his own disgust as he rolled onto the floor and scrambled to pull his clothes back on to hightail it out of the room.

"hey, joseph," a tall man glanced over to tyler while stringing a rope through a pulley, "late start, huh?"

"yeah, sorry, urie."

brendon handed tyler the rope, "it's alright, you can help me finish setting this up."

tyler obliged and later stepped back to observe their work. they had strung up tyler's trapeze swings and suspended hoop. in a few hours, hundreds of audience members would watch him complete his stunts up in the air and marvel as he swung so easily at the great heights. but frankly, tyler barely noticed the heights he worked at anymore. years ago when he started working in this corrupt business, he was terrified every single night of being up so high with only a thin leotard to protect him from the ground if he ever fell, but these days, tyler felt numb to it all. if he perished, his daily suffering would be over.

tyler snapped out of his thoughts to the brendon's hand waving in front of his face, "you almost done daydreaming, joseph?"

"what? oh. yeah, sorry."

"i thought you'd be more alert than ever with that extra sleep you got," brendon rolled his eyes, "i didn't find you in your bunk this morning but wentz said he saw you sleeping. um, last night... did you guys..."

"... yeah." tyler kept his tired eyes trained on the ground and jumped slightly when he felt brendon's hand pat his shoulder.

"it's gonna be alright, joseph. i was in your position once... the big 'star of the show'... the temporary 'main event'," brendon met tyler's eyes, "our boss loves a good star, but the thing about stars is that they burn out. once he finds a new main attraction for his audience, he'll leave you alone."

"i would want to wish this on anybody, but when will that be?" tyler looked around at the many posters of him strewn throughout the big top, "i can't take much more of this."

brendon caught tyler's gaze once again, "find someone to take your place and you'll be home free," tyler furrowed his eyebrows in thought as he listened to brendon's words, "that's what i did."