Hold On, I'll See You Again

Dan!

That night, we went to sleep together, cuddling each other until we slipped into wonderfully vivid dreams. It helped that Dan sung me to sleep again. I remember him singing that song to me a while ago in a similar fashion, but I still couldn't put my finger on what song it was. The dreams I had were of Dan and I getting cured, getting married, buying an apartment together, and even getting a shiba inu. We were together forever in my dreams, aging happily beside each other in our apartment. I woke up in the morning still very tired. I noticed I was scooted a bit away from Dan, so I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to my chest. Except... Dan felt a bit cold. It must've snowed last night and made the room a bit cooler, but I felt fine. So, I got up and went over to the thermostat and turned it up. I looked at the clock, which said it was 6:00am. I wonder how mad he would be if I woke him up?

So, I crawled back in bed with him and started peppering the back of his neck with small kisses. He must be a sound sleeper, for he didn't even stir. I decided to go to his face and kiss him there until he awoke. I flipped him onto his back and went in for a kiss when I noticed his face was about 50 shades paler than normal and his lips were blue. I started frantically shaking him, hoping it would wake him up, but he remained still.

My breathing quickened as I continued shaking him. Meanwhile, Dan lied limp on my bed, pale and unresponsive. I went over to the phone and dialed their emergency line. I highly doubted extension line 12 would do me any favors in this situation. Immediately, a woman was asking me what was wrong, and after my explanation, she asked what room we were in. About one minute after hanging up, a team of nurses ran in with a stretcher and loaded Dan up.

They frantically ran down the hall to the emergency wing with me running behind them, like some sort of action movie. They pulled Dan into a room, hooked him up to several different machines, and started doing these doctor-y things to him. I stood outside the room, pressing my face against the glass. Tears were falling down my face as the heart monitor slowly beeped. The nurses rushed around him, doing everything in their power to keep him alive, but they suddenly stopped as the monitor flat lined. They bowed their heads as Dan laid there, as cold and dead as he always joked that his soul was.

I couldn't hold my tears back any longer, so I began violently sobbing outside Dan's room. Chris and Peej were called into the room minutes later to be given the news. They both hugged me as I weeped. Eventually, they let us into the room to see him one last time before covering him with a white sheet. My sobs died down a bit after they took Dan away. Peej's phone went off, playing a familiar tune. "Chris? *Sniff* What song does Peej have as his ringtone?" "MCR Welcome to the Black Parade. Why?" "That was the last time I heard his voice. He sang me to sleep with that song last night." And I once again started crying.

The next day, Dan's body was carried off to the cemetery. They changed him into a black button down shirt, skinny jeans, and socks and shoes before taking him to his final resting place. Before they carried him off, I saw that Dan was wearing the promise ring I gave him, still as shiny as ever.

~Warning: Mentions of Sex~

I numbly went into Dan's room to go through his stuff. Adrian joined me a few minutes later once he arrived at the hospital. "So... Um. I know you, Phil, are closer to him. So... I'll let you take what you want." "I won't take a lot, but thank you Adrian for finally reconnecting with Dan. I know that made him very happy." He nodded and looked around Dan's room. The sheets were still crumpled from where the nurses threw them off of him. Adrian sorted through Dan's clothes and I went through his nightstand and storage. In his nightstand, there were some things that I wouldn't like to have shown Adrian, and so I simply threw them away. I was surprised to see them in there, especially since the most Dan and I have ever done together is cuddle, and have make out sessions in the shower. I didn't know that Dan had prepared for when we'd finally do it. I took Dan's anime collection as well as some of his shirts. Adrian took his laptop and the rest of his clothes. Dan didn't have much else except for a diary, which Adrian said I should have. We moved the DVDs, diary, and shirts into my room, and everything else was boxed up and loaded into Adrian's car. After a quick goodbye, he drove away in the cold, December morning. I walked back inside, passing Chris and Peej on the way to my room. They asked how I was doing and if I wanted company, but I politely said I was fine and declined their offer.

I put on Free! and opened Dan's diary, starting at the first entry.

Dear Diary,

Umm... I don't know what to say. I haven't had a diary since I was 7. I guess I just need to tell someone who at least pretends to care about my feelings. Yea, sad right? Any who, surprise, I have cancer! Yay. I will be staying in the hospital.....

~Skips about 4 entrees of Dan complaining~

Dear Diary,

It's been a month since I've been admitted to the hospital. A man came into the lounge and talked to me. He looks hot as heck, especially his black fringe and pale skin. I think his eyes are, like, three different colors at once. Again, super hot. His name's Phil, I remember. So we talked about life and why we were here, and believe it or not, I actually got the courage to flirt with him. I know, right? I held his hand as I led him to the cafeteria, and he blushed! I hope that means he likes me. Oh boy oh boy I hope he likes me!

Dear Diary,

We cuddled after my round of chemo. I couldn't believe that he was sitting on my bed with me, watching anime. He had to go to an appointment afterwards, which I couldn't attend since I was still recovering. He got me breakfast in bed earlier today, and it was all liquids since I couldn't hold anything down. I just wish I could ask him to be my boyfriend, but I don't know yet if I should. After all, if he gets to get out of here, unlike me, I don't want him to get tied down in a relationship with me. I'll ask him if his cancer is terminal, like mine.

Dear Diary,

I had to help a passed out Phil today when he found out his cancer was terminal. I feel so sorry for him. He looked so sad and scared when he woke up. I know it's bad to say I can ask him out now, especially since he now knows he has a year more to live at most. Funny enough, it's the same deadline as mine.

Dear Diary,

Is it bad to say I love it when he wears my clothes? We're going back to his house to get most of his, but I still wish he'd wear mine.

Dear Diary,

It's nearing Christmas and we've been dating for a good amount of time, so I went to the store and got some... stuff. I'm still a virgin, but I know I'm ready. I want Phil to be my first and my only. I think I'll ask him the day after he gets back from his parents' house.

Dear Diary,

He got me a promise ring for Christmas. Oh my gosh. I know he says we'll get married once we're both out, but I know it won't happen. I don't care, though. This is the happiest I've ever been. I love him so so much, and I want to yell that to the entire world. This boy has done so many great things for me, and he's been the first to care about me since my parents abandoned me. If by some way we both can get out of here alive and marry each other, then please let that happen.

Dear Diary,

It's about 2am. I've sung Phil to sleep tonight since he's gotten back from his parents' house. He was so tired that I didn't ask him about... yea. Any who, I'm scared. I don't feel well. I feel like my body is struggling to stay alive, like I'm getting colder and colder as I lay here in bed with Phil. I think my time has come. I never got to ask Phil about going further, I never got my first New Year's kiss with him. When was the last time I told him I loved him? I feel light-headed now and my heart is straining. I think I see a white light, but *The writing gets too sloppy to read from there.*