Broken- Louis Tomlinson fanfiction

Chapter 16

Louis' POV

For the past five hours the only thing I could picture where the sadness in her eyes. Or the sound of her shaky voice pleading my name. I pictured us hugging, holding on to whatever it was that we had left. Our lips meeting for such a short period of time. Yet it being full of passion and love. Or when I walked out of that building feeling empty. And when I drove home and cried into her pillow.

I laid my bed holding the her pillow close to me. I've never felt more horrible about myself. I prayed that I would get over this. I know I will eventually smile and forget. But at the moment it hurt. It hurt to leave her. Part of me wanted to run up to the doctor and take her back home. But I knew this was the right decision. She would get help, get better the way she's supposed to. I knew she would walk out of that place with a big grin.

I was planning on visiting her in two days. I needed time to put everything back in place. I needed to see when I would meet up with Eleanor again. It was weird. She was my girlfriend. And I kissed Ember. But I wasn't going to tell her. She had no idea who Ember was. And it wasn't like I am going to do i again.

I need to talk to my boss and get my work schedule on track again. I needed to talk to Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn about what happened. I needed to call my family. I haven't spoken to them in a few weeks. I wanted to visit them and tell them everything that's happened. My mom is always understanding and the best to talk to about this stuff.

Today was one of the worst days of my life. I pray that I can get through this.

My sobs started turning into heavy breaths, then regular breathing. Soon my blood-red eyes shut to sleep.

Ember's POV

I lifted my eyes open, expecting to smell the cooking of breakfast and hear Louis' voice slowly humming to an unknown tune. But instead I woke to a cold, empty smell, and the noises of footsteps coming and going in the halls.

The bed I was in was so uncomfortable compared to the last one I slept in. And the plain white duvets made my head ache. There was a window to my left, and a door a few feet from me to the right. The carpet the bed rested on was a light blue color, only reminding me of Louis' eyes. There where a few pictures on the wall of the ocean or the beach that made the room have a calm feeling.

They laid out all of my clothes on a desk, taking my bag because they didn't want me to harm myself with what ever was on it- I had no idea. Everything from yesterday after I left Louis is just a blur. I remember them taking the shoe laces off my shoes, because they think I will try and hang myself. I thought all these people where crazy. I wouldn't think of doing that again. Because I couldn't just die right now. I still wanted to try to work anything out with my family- or whoever they call themselves. And I needed Louis. I didn't want to just leave him. I want to see him again. I have a future and I need to work on it. All of those therapy sessions sorta helped me think about how dumb I was; I still have so much left to do.

Two days later Louis came to visit. I wished it could have been sooner, but I know he had things to do. When I saw him my heart felt like it was going to burst; never had I ever wanted to see someone so badly. He looked so handsome. He wore skinny jeans, a nice shirt, and a dress coat. His hair looked nice too. He held a dozen of roses in his hands.

They let him in my room so we could talk to each-other alone- thank god for that.

"Hey Em." he says and without another word he wraps his arms around me. I hold him back, smelling his familiar scent. God, I missed him so much.

"I missed you," I say when we let go.

"Me too. Are they treating you good here?"

I nod my head.

"Here I brought you these. The lady said you could keep them in your room." he says handing me the roses.

"Thanks" I smell the flowers, taking in there amazing aroma. "They're beautiful." I set them on my desk.

Louis takes a seat on my small bed and faces me.

"So what have you been doing," I ask casually. The air seems awkward, but it wasn't surprisingly.

"I got my job back on track." He smiles. I nod. "And I'm thinking of going to visit my mom for a couple days this weekend."

"Cool. How's Eleanor?"

"Good. We're actually going out tonight."

"So you guys are official?" I ask suddenly my heart falling, but I smiled not wanting to show him one bit of my sadness. He blushed and nodded.

"I'm so happy for you." I say blankly. On the inside i was crying.

There was a silence; and elephant in the room.

"Em," I looked up at him "I'm sorry."

"Louis-"

"No. I thought this was the only answer. I just feel bad I put you here all by your self. I know we'll both eventually get over this, but I'm sorry. I just- I can barely take care of myself- I don't know how I can take care of you." I nod. I know what he means- he needs to focus on himself.

"I understand Louis, I'll get better faster." I look away from him. I hated the fact that the people hear think I need 'help', and that they suspect I want to kill myself again.

He keeps his stare on me. It's quiet for a minute. I sat across him on the bed.

"Tell me what your thinking, Em." he says

"I hate that people think they know everything."

"What do you mean?" he say, his eyes lingering on mine.

"Like, When I'm here. They just suspect that I'm going to do something. They think just because I'm in this place that I want to just die. They don't know a thing. Like, they don't know that I want a future and a family. That I want to fix everything that went wrong. I don't want to just disappear, I have so much I want to do. But I still feel like I can't accept myself." I explain.

I look up at him. His faces is softened and his eyes showed care.

"I'm so glad you want to fix it all. That's amazing Ember." He takes my hand in his. "Tell me about Ethan, have you had nightmares?" I almost wince at that name.

"Last night." I answered remembering it. Strangers came into my room, hearing my cries and screams. I remember they calmed me down after ten minutes. But all I could think of was that I wanted Louis, but he never showed up in the room.

Then Louis tackles me on the bed making me gasp and giggle.

"Louis What are you doing!?" I laugh

"I doing what I should've done last night." he chuckles and pulls me close to his chest. I cuddle into his warm jacket. I'm definitely going to miss this.

"You smell good," I say thoughtlessly making him laugh.

"Maybe next time I come I'll bring you something that smells like me," he chuckles

"I would like that."

We stayed like this in a peaceful silence. I felt myself starting to fall asleep in his strong arms. I felt him get off the bed and kiss my head.

"I'll see you soon beautiful, promise me you'll sleep safe?" he whispered, I nodded my head feeling my self falling asleep.

"Love you," I whispered

"And I love you."