Giving Up Is Something I Do Often.

Who's it going to be?

. Justin came close to me and I grabbed a spoonful of ice cream and put in my mouth. He comes even closer, he takes way my bangs from my eyes and takes away the spoon out of my mouth. He takes my hand, and he head towards the couch. We sit down. We stare at each other for a little bit. And then he says “Isabella why have you been avoiding me since we went to the beach last time?”  I stayed silent for a while 

“And what happened with Nick?” he asked. 

I took a deep breath and said 

“Look Justin, I am really confused at this point. And I want to tell you what happened but I don’t think I should cause’ you might get really mad at me. But at the same time I think there should be no secrets between us.” 

“Isabella what are you confused in? And you can tell me anything. I promise you I wont get mad. Just please. No lies.” He asked. 

Ugh at these moments I miss Camila more than ever. But I know I have to be tuff and take it. 

“Okay. Um.. Well when we went to the beach. Remember Nick showing up?” 

“Yeah I remember.” 

“Okay well I ran after him and he told me that he still loves me and I told him that he lost his chance because he cheated on me and he was telling me how he really wants me back. And that I am his inspiration and what not. And then…”   

“Then what Isabella?” Justin said anxiously.   

“We kissed” I said softly.   

He looked at me disappointed. And looked at my T.V. for along time.. And then he finally looks at me and said   

“Isabella do you love him?”   

“what do you mean?”   

“Stop trying to avoid the question.” He said firmly.   

“Yes. I mean.. Ugh! I have no idea! Justin I want to be with you. But I have 2nd thoughts and now more than ever.”

Justin looked so mad. He got up the couch and said    “When you figure things out call me.”   

“No Justin wait! Please!” I grab his head.   

And I kiss him.

We kissed and kissed.   

He stopped.   

He put his forehead against mine.   

His nose against mine.   

“So have you made a decision yet?” he said while smiling.   

“Yes I have.” I smile, and I kiss him.   

He melts me like an ice cream under the sun. He wraps his arms around my body. I feel his skin against mine. His hands are coming up to my face he cups his hand on my face he tilts my head up and says   

“Wake up Babe”.   

And suddenly woke up. Everything that happen I dreamt. I got up from my bed and sit at the corner of my bed and I stare out the window. I remember that Justin left my house angry and I went up to my room. So then I realized I was dreaming that we made up. When we really screamed at each other and he made me cry. I got up that morning trying to forget everything that happened last night. I got ready for school and went downstairs and I made myself breakfast. I looked at the time and I was an hour early. I turn on the T.V. I ate my breakfast. I got up and went to watch my dish. I turned off the T.V. and wrote a note:  

David, I woke up early and I’m going to school don’t worry about it. Okay? I love you bro.  

I got inside my car, turning the stereo so high that my ears felt like they were going to pop  I was driving but I had no idea where I was going, it was like I was driving but my mind was on something else that I didn’t feel that I was driving finally I parked in a little grocery store. I got off and got some chocolate frosting and vanilla ice cream. I started to drive. I got to my high school and parked my car. I got off and headed toward the soccer field. I got my the chocolate frosting, vanilla ice cream and my ipod out. I turned up the music so loud that if I took my earphones off someone next to me can hear. I let my ipod pick a song. It picked Goodbye by Miley Cyrus. I started to sing a long with it I got up and I started to dance to it and I stuffed vanilla ice cream in my mouth. I felt like I was in a concert and I was the singer. And then it started to pour. I really didn’t care. I keep on dancing and singing. Then I started to stuff my mouth with chocolate frosting. Then someone came behind me and they grabbed my hoodie from my jacket and put it on my head. I got scared. I turn around and I found out it was Justin. He said   

“I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold.” He said smiling.   

“yeah.” I said with cold face I was still mad at him from last night. I grabbed my vanilla ice cream and chocolate frosting and put it in the soggy paper bag.   

Justin grabbed my arm and said   

“I’m sorry!”   

“oh and you think that’s going to make me forgive you. Or get yourself off the hook huh?” I said coldly.   

“no but I want you to. Because I forgive you by kissing Nick. Isabella I’m sorry I screamed at you. Okay? What did you except I didn’t know how to react that my girlfriend kissed her ex-boyfriend.”   

“hu.” I said rolling my eyes.   

“Please forgive me. Isabella. Please.”    He looks like he is about to cry, especially how the rain makes it like he is.

I look at him and I leaned in for a kiss. He grabs me and he holds me tight. He picks me up while we were kissing and he spins me around. He cups my head and he puts his forehead and his nose against mine.   

“I love you Isabella.”   

He reaches into his pocket and he takes out this notebook paper which had:  

I want a guy: Who would move the hair from my eyes and then  kiss me.Hold my hand in line at the mall and make all girls jealous. Someone who would SiNG to me at random moments. Who would let me sleep on their chest. A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or was mean to me. I want someone who would call me  3 times a day if he went away. Someone who would let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything I said. He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then KISS ME A MILLION TIMES. Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh. He would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. He would tell all his friends about Me and SMILE when he did it. And we’d make out in the pouring rain. He would never be afraid to say “I Love you” in front of his friends, And we’d argue about silly things then make up. I want a boy that would kiss me at midnight on New Years and count stars with me. Who would stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner & watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who would tell me I’m beautiful but not too often. Who would make me laugh like No One else could. But mostly, I want someone who would be my Best friend and would never break my heart.  

I read the note. It was the note I had in my binder. The list I made of my dream guy. I looked up at him . I had a confused face.   

“Now all the things on the list are done.” He said crossing out the one that said making out in the pouring rain.   

“How did you get this?”   

“It fell out of your binder. But I read it before I put it back. And then I made a copy of it.” He replied.    “But why would you do this to me? That note was confidential. I made it for myself. Now I don’t even know if you’re the right guy for me.” I took a deep breath.   

“So now I know why you were doing all the stuff. I thought it was to good to be true and I was right.” I said pissed off.   

“Isabella look I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. I taught you were going to be happy about this. But I guess I was wrong.” He said giving me a face as in he was trying to make me feel guilty.  

I rolled my eyes and said   

“Stop trying to make me feel guilty okay?” he gave me a stare and said   

“I’m not trying to do anything I just wanted to make you happy but I guess not.”   

“Look I forgive you Justin, But now I don’t know if you did those things just because they were on the list or because you wanted to.” I said sadly.  

“Babe I did them because I wanted to, besides why would I go threw all that trouble to impress a girl I know I’m totally in love with.”  

I smiled and he kissed me.