Hues and Blues. || #Wattys2016 ||

Midnight muse.

Hey y'all, it's been long. If you have to know I am having a little bit of an artistic block but sometimes when emotions do manage to shake me I end up writing some intreting things. Have fun :)
I love you all💖

Sometimes I just wish I could stuff you inside my head and make you see all those those galaxies I have painted up there and the poems I have written of love,death and tears.

So I can take you to long lost places where we can dig out the boxes of memories that I burried deep in the soil, to hide away from them. Sometimes I wish I can show you that pit inside me that is gaping and that shadow of a person that I am down there held in by the darkness struggling to reach the skies.

Sometimes I wish I can show you how there are walls that partition me from me keep me from myself and there is nothing I can do but sit and bang my head against those or paint graffities on those walls. Dark graffities. Sometimes I wish I could show you my silliest dreams and the graveyard of broken mirrors, those mirrors lying in randomness that show no image of me.

Sometimes I wish I could show you the universe inside and have you count the stars there and take a dive in the bluest oceans of love. Sometimes I wish I could wipe off that illusion of me trying to let people in my heart to show you how rock hard it is.

Sometimes I wish I could take off that blanket that covers the softest yet the most unexpected parts of me. Sometimes I wish I could just stand in the rain with you in my head and show you how I can love, how I can give...give everything to nourish someone. Sometimes I wish I could show you the burning fires in my head of anger, hate and disbelief. That black flames of anxiety, depression and panic. Sometimes I wish I could show you that small spark of what I am, of what I really am, that is there hidden deep below bones of my own dead self.

But I cannot bring these visuals to life, to make words or poetry to explain what I feel and it hurts because poems run through my blood and art all around me resonating with my soul to make eternal music of the universe that can be heard by celestial bodies and plantes and sometime that one soul who just manages to breaks past the boundies of blood, flesh and tears and yet I cannot have that soul peek into my head full of war and peace, darkness and light. There is no sun, there is only a dark night with the stars and moon as the only sources of light and it's still pretty.

That that deathly chasm of shadow took over me and I cannot explain what I am to you or to me anymore.