Right Through Me

When depression and Anxiety hit.....

*start song*

Stop....

Go away....

Please.....I don't want to feel this way.....

Please......

I put my head in my head onto my knees and let out a strangled sob. I hate this. I hate this feeling. It's what Auska made me feel. Every night.

Fear...

Depression.....

"Leave me alone!" I whisper yell. My eyes fill with tears and I put my clenched fists on my ears. I start to rock back and fourth, slowly gaining speed. I let out another sob and start to rub my arms.

I feel so cold. So tired. So........

Worthless.

Another wave of sadness washes over me and I whimper. I curl into a ball, my feet close to my chest as I start to cry softly.

"P-please.....make it stop.....this hurts me..." I whimper. I clench my eyes shut and feel new tears fall down my face.

I hate when this happens. It wakes me up and I instantly start to cry, thinking about the things Auska had done to me. I always sneak out of bed and tip toe down stairs so that I won't wake up Mino and Yamato. I don't like them seeing this side of me. It's pathetic and embarrassing. I don't want them to think of me as weak. At the thought of that, more tears roll down my cheeks.

    "Alex?"

    My head snaps up. I hear Mino call out my name again from the hallway. I quickly get up and run behind the couch, quietly crouching down. I hear Him walk into the living room. I quiet my breathing.

"Alex?" He says softly. I accidentally let out a whimper. I hear his footsteps stop in front of the couch. I let out another whimper.

"Alex, I know you're in hear." I hear him walk around the couch. I sniffle and put my head. I see his grey socks stop in front of me and I let out a sob.

"What's wrong?" He asks. He crouches down and tilts my face up. I flinch and crawl back. His eyes are filled with concern and he moves closer.

"What happened?" He tries to reach his hand out again, but I move back. My back hits the wall, making me trapped.

"Please.....d-don't look at me..." I put my hands on my eyes as more tears fall. I feel his hand gently touch my shoulder. I start to shake uncontrollably.

"Alex..."

The way he says my name makes me break out in sobs. He instantly pulls me into his arms, engulfing me in a tight hug. My head is buried into his chest as he starts to rock me. He doesn't say anything. He just lets me cry. After a while, I calm down, but a few tears still manage to fall.

".....do you hate me?" I whisper. Mino pulls away and looks down at me.

"Why would I hate you?" He asks. My eyes start to fill with tears again.

"I know I must look pathetic to you....." I look away. I don't want to break down again.

"Alex-"

"I know, Mino. I'm pathetic. I don't know why you took me in. I don't know why you love me." More tears start to fall.

"Wha-"

     "Wouldn't you be happier with someone who isn't broken? Someone who isn't pathetic....how could you fall in love with someone like me-"

    "ALEX!" I jump and look up at him, my eyes wide and tearful. He grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eye, a storm expression on his face.

    "I never thought of you as a broken woman. Not once. Nor have I ever thought of you as pathetic. I love you, Alex. I never want to loose you..." as he trails off, he pulls me towards him in a hug. He wraps his arms around me and buries his face into my hair.

   'I love you, Alex. I never want to loose you....'

   I let sniffle and wrap my arms around his middle. He hugs me tighter. I hear him give out a shaky breath and a sniffle, which tells me that he is crying too. I hug him tighter.

     "I love you, Alex....please don't leave me." He whispers. I nod my head.

    "I won't, Mino....I won't."

   A/N: Soooooooooooooo, this happened.....sorry for the short chapter. I'm not really in a good mood, so this was what came to mind. Thank you to those who are reading my book!