The Devil You Know - SPN

Chapter Nine

The One In Which The Author Regrets Deciding to Name Every Chapter

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Bobby's house was too warm today. I walked outside and sat on the balcony, a gentle breeze was blowing but it wasn't enough to calm me down. I rested my head in my hands, begging the tears to stay back. When I was younger, the roadhouse was the closest thing I had to a home. Ellen and Jo were the closest things I had to a family.

I hadn't been there when they needed me, I was stuck with Lucifer. And I hadn't even been mad with him, I'd been considering his offer.

I heard the door open behind me, and Sam's trademarked heavy sigh, "Carmen, I'm so sorry."

I turned to look at him, his shoulders were slumped, a bottle of beer in his hands and his eyebrows were furrowed causing his perpetual worry lines.

"Sam, it's not your fault," he walked over beside me, as I turned back around he put an arm over my shoulders.

"It's not your either," he was watching me intently, I could feel his eyes boring into the top of my head but I kept my eyes glued to the horizon.

"I should've been there." I replied, trying hard to mask the tears in my voice.

He sighed again and we fell into silence.

-

Once Sam had finally convinced me to come back inside I was greeted with Dean's sad eyes. He always had sad eyes. This time he also wore a sad smile, his shoulders slumped as he wrapped his arm around me, hugging me half heartedly.

I trudged over to the couch and fell into it, Bobby's eyes found mine.

"I hate to ask but we need to know what Lucifer did to you," I dropped my gaze, my heart hammering in my chest.

"Bound me to him," I replied, hoping he hadn't read up on the lore of my kind.

He swallowed slowly, "Carmen, he can't."

Dean's interest was piqued now, "What? Why not?"

Bobby looked over toward him and then back to me, "Only if you have ties with him can he bind you."

I shook my head slowly, "No. He can if he's my angel."

Bobby's eyebrows furrowed, "Warriors weren't all just made for every angel. Some of us were created with certain angels in mind." I began but Dean cut me off,

"Like how you were made for us?" He asked but there was a look on his face that suggested he already knew the answer.

"No, I wasn't. I was made for Lucifer," I said as I stood.

Sam ran a hand through his hair slowly, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I needed you to trust me," I explained, looking between them but Dean wouldn't meet my gaze.

"And lying to us was the best way for us to trust you?" Dean exploded, finally meeting my eyes.

"Well, would you've trusted me if the day we met I told you I was created to perfectly mirror Lucifer?"Dean's postured softened, his eyes widening, "Mirror him?"

I huffed, falling back into the chair, "Yes, he and I are polar opposites."

Dean let out a breath and leaned against the door frame, his features much softer.

-

I awoke to someone's hand on my forehead, I instantly recognized Sam's giant paw. I swatted him away and pushed myself up, "I'm fine, Sam."