The Devil You Know - SPN

Chapter Seventeen

The One In Which They Watch Gabriel's Porn
---

I leaned on the bonnet of the Impala, staring at the window of the room Gabriel and Lucifer were in. Dean walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me off and guiding me into the car. I sighed, collapsing into the back seat, "That was exhausting."

Sam chuckled, nodding, "You think he'll be okay?" he asked, glancing up at the window.

"Yeah, we couldn't get rid of him if we tried," I said with a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes.

We drove in silence for a while, the only sounds were the quiet hum of the motor and the whistling of the wind through my window, until Dean broke it.

"What was that, back there?" He asked, glancing at me in the rear view mirror.

I quirked an eyebrow in response, "You mean the dizzy spell?"

He scoffed, "Yeah, what was that?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, I hit my head pretty bad maybe it was something to do with that."

He sighed, turning back to face the road. I pulled my knees up to my chest, leaning my cheek against my knee.

I knew that he thought I was lying, I wouldn't blame him, it's typical of me to lie about these kinds of things but I, honestly, had no idea what these dizzy spells were caused by and now that I knew when I was having them I wouldn't be summoned to the boys, I was more worried than I'd been before.

I was snapped from my thoughts by the fluttering of wings, signalling Castiel's arrival.

"Cass, finally. Where've you been?" Dean asked, glancing at Castiel.

"That's not of import." He stated simply.

"Cass, are you alright?" I asked, noticing the sickly state he was in.

"My batteries are drained." He replied, simply, "I'm now practically human."

"Except for the flying part," Sam quipped, quietly.

"No, I doubt I have the strength to do that again," Castiel replied, leaning back in his seat.

"Why'd you come here?" Dean asked gruffly.

"I've no place else to go," Castiel responded, his tone even.

Dean nodded, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, "Well, do you know about Carmen's 'dizzy spells'?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

Cass looked at me as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, "They are caused by your bond with Sam."

Sam straightened in the front seat, "What?"

Can furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Yes, you have traces of demon blood inside of you. Warriors are killed if they form bonds with demons, since you only have a small amount she isn't greatly affected, only the 'dizzy spells'."

I felt my chest tighten and nodded stiffly, "Any word on the horsemen?"

Castiel turned to look at me, "No."

"Hold on, we aren't dropping it that quickly," Dean began, but I cut him off.

"What's there to discuss?" I asked, arching my eyebrows, daring him to suggest it.

"You need to cut our tie," Sam said, twisting in his seat to face me better.

I laughed dryly, "What? No, no way."

He shook his head, "Look, I'm always with Dean anyway, and you'd still have your tie with him."

I scoffed, "Don't even try, Sam. I'm not doing it and you can't persuade me otherwise."

Sam sighed, turning back around to face the road.

"Car, —" Dean tried but I interrupted him.

"Stop, Dean. It's not happening."

-

I laid in the backseat of the Impala, I could hear Sam and Dean outside. They were watching the disc that Gabriel had left me, I'd decided to stay in the car. It was cold outside, the chilly air cooling the glass windows and creating goosebumps on my arms. I'd lost my jacket back in the motel and although it was just a piece of leather I felt odd without it, almost as if it were my security blanket.

Dean wrenched open the car door and I swivelled in my seat so that I was upright again, looking at him expectantly.

"Just a porno?" I asked, leaning forward against the back of his seat.

"No, Gabriel is dead," he replied, he didn't sound remotely affected by the news but I felt a small pang of sadness.

"And he told us where Pestilence is," Sam added as he opened the car door and slid into the seat beside Dean.

I nodded with a smile and leaned back in my seat, it should be fairly easy then.

My smile faded quickly as the tension in the car grew, Sam was watching me intently through the rear view mirror. I was staring out the window, trying my hardest not to look at him but I could tell that his eyebrows would be furrowed, the way they always were when he was deep in thought.

I gave up on mindlessly staring at the trees flying past the window and turned my attention to him, "Penny for your thoughts?" I asked, straightening up and turning so I was facing him.

He cleared his throat, moving his eyes away from me and back to the road, "You should cut our tie," he said after a moment of hesitation, he said it bluntly but his tone was lacking conviction.

"No, I'll sooner claw out my eyes," I replied smoothly, watching as his worried eyes met mine.

"Why not?" He asked, his voice almost breaking. He dropped his gaze, colour rushing to his cheeks.

"Sam," I began, leaning back in my seat as I carefully combed through my preplanned explanation, "Do you remember when Cass took Dean back in time, to before you guys were born?"

Sam nodded and Dean, his interest piqued at the mention of his name shifted his gaze to me as well, "Do you remember how I was a mess that whole day? How I could barely function?"

Sam nodded again, stiffer this time, "I never told you why, I figured you'd put the pieces together yourself, but in case you didn't realise, it was because Dean travelled to before I made the tie. That whole day I couldn't feel our tie, I figured out pretty quickly that he'd just been taken back but I was still a mess."

I felt Dean's gaze flick back to the road for a second before he turned it back to me again, "Why?"

I lifted my eyes from Sam's and turned to Dean, quirking my eyebrow, "I didn't know if you were okay or not," I explained, I could feel the tears rising and tried my hardest to force them back, gnawing on the inside of my cheek, "It was the first time since we'd made our tie that I was awake and I didn't know if you were hurt or not."

Despite my efforts my voice broke as I was talking, I lowered my head as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, a warm tear sliding down my face. I wiped it away hastily and forced a smile onto my face, "Could you imagine me going the rest of my life without our tie?" I said with a forced chuckle, lifting my eyes to meet Sam's.

His eyebrows were furrowed in that trademarked expression of his, "Okay," he muttered, I could tell he wanted to continue the conversation but my expression told him to drop it.

He turned his body back toward the road again. Dean, who's eyes had been flicking between the road and myself finally settled on my misty eyes. After a pause and with a slight nod he looked away, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.