All At Once

Ch. 18: Running To Stand Still. Part 1

"Please! Give me 30 seconds." I said.

Harry stopped but didn't turn around. His hand was on the door knob and I knew I only had 30 seconds.

"Yes, we kissed. He told me he wanted to get back together the day before the finale. But you know what Harry? I don't regret it. And you know why? Because as soon as we kissed I knew what I wanted. I knew that it wasn't the same with him. I knew I wanted you. I know I've been a pain in the ass but I just invested the last 2 years of my life with that guy and it's not fair to expect me to be rid of him immediately. I'm here right now, with you, not him. That should say something." My voice was shaking and my knees were weak, I said all I had to say and Harry still hadn't moved.

I began to get angry. I just basically poured my heart out to him and he had no reaction what-so-ever. If he were to walk out the door right now, I don't know what I would do.

"Say something." I said.

He still remained motionless, and my anger just got worse.

"Say something!" I screamed.

Harry turned around fast, I took a quick step back.

He walked forward to me so quick that I thought for a split second that he might hit me, he looked so angry. He grabbed my waist with one hand and my neck with the other and my immediate reaction was to tense up, prepare for a hard blow of physical contact. But I realized soon enough that this wasn't the case.

Harry pushed his lips against mine, he was rough at first. He pulled at the back of my neck to get us as close as possible and it did start to hurt, he tried shoving his tongue into my mouth. I felt indifferent. I wanted to kiss him, but not like this.

"Harry," I whispered, pushing him off with the palms of my hands. Harry stepped back and took a deep breath.

I was just about to speak, tell him that it was all okay and that it was going to be okay. He suddenly looked tired, like he had been worrying about something.

"Harry," I said again. "Shh." He put his finger to my lips. I watched his every move, not knowing what to expect.

He leaned forward again, slowly this time. His breathing had slowed as well by now. He put his hand on my face and cupped my chin, gently pulling me closer to him. He licked his lips and took a deep breath before coming closer, and pressing his lips on mine once again.

This time though, it was gentle. He was soft and careful. He pulled him closer to me and he put his hands on my waist.

"Jump." He said, and I did. I was straddling his waist and my arms were around his neck. Harry carried me over to the couch and lied me down. I didn't know how I felt, everything that was happening was clouding my judgment. Harry started kissing me, first soft kisses on the mouth, then he pressed his lips down on my neck, then my collar bones.

He got up and pulled off his shirt from the neck and slipped off his boots. I had never seen his tattoos up close, he caught me looking at them. I sat up in front of him and put my hand on his stomach, tracing the outline of the butterfly tattoo. My hands trailed up to his chest and I stood up next to him, tracing the birds on his chest. He brought his hands up and held mine in his. I suddenly felt embarrassed, my face flushed.

He intertwined our fingers and led me to the bedroom.