All At Once

Ch. 24: Memories

On my way home I stopped to get gas and call Harry about the good news.

"Hey baby I can't talk right now I'm in an important meeting." Harry said as soon as he answered.

"Okay, call me after." I said and we said our goodbyes.

I continued on my route back home which only took about 5 minutes. As I got home I waited up and unlocked the door in front of me.

"Oh hey Josh you'll never guess-"

I saw Josh immediately as I walked into the house but I stopped dead in my tracks when Lynsey Wilson stepped into plain view of my kitchen from behind the wall.

I looked at her then back at Josh. I wasn't sure exactly what to say. I was absolutely speechless when I noticed her hands resting in Josh's.

I swallowed, trying to keep cool and calm.

"What's going on here?" My voice shaked.

"I've been trying to talk to you but you've been so busy with Harry."

Needless to say it was hard to process it all. It felt like a band aid had been ripped of a fresh wound.

"What's going on here?" I repeated slowly. 

"I'm...Lynsey and I are dating, have been for a few weeks." Josh said, an unreadable expression on his face.

"You're never around anymore, I tried telling you." he continued.

I took a deep breath and turned around all in one motion.

I wasn't angry as I got back into my car and started the engine. I wasn't angry when I looked at the clock on the dashboard and realized I'd been driving for hours. I never got truly angry, not even when I couldn't stop myself from crying and had to pull over to the side of the road.

But when I did get angry, I was furious, but only at myself. How could I not notice something like that? My brother had a girlfriend and I had been so involved in my own life.

My thoughts were moving at a hundred miles an hour. 

I needed my mom. She'd know what to do. I missed her so much.

Memories flooded back from my mom to Josh and back to my mom. 

Before our parents died Josh was dating this girl named Andrea. She was everything we wanted in a girlfriend for Josh. Pretty, smart, talented.

Then, there was the accident. It had always been hard for Josh to open up to people, but he did with Andrea right before our parents died. 

After, nothing was the same. Josh avoided Andrea at all costs. He ignored her texts, calls, deleted voicemails. I was so angry at Josh during that time. Angry that he'd been in the car with our parents in their final minutes. Angry that they died. Angry that I was left alone. I took all of that anger out on Josh. Yelling at him that he broke Andrea's heart, broke up our family.

That's why we handn't talked for a year after that. All I did was act upset and all he did was shut me out, ignoring all life around him.

It took us a long while to find our way back to each other. But when we did, we were closer than ever. And now I began realizing that Josh had been gone a lot lately. I never even asked why. I couldn't remember the last time I had a full conversation with my own brother. 

'It's official, I am the worst sister ever' I thought. 

I have to fix this.

...

I hadn't talked much with Josh about Lynsey yet. I just knew that now that I was starting to act again my schedule would slowly be filling up, plus time I spent with Harry so I knew I had to separate some time for Josh.