Insanity

The Past. II

Percival POV

I had a job, a wife, even got friends.

I had always wanted to become an auror, since I was a kid. And I succeeded, I am Director of Magical Security and head of MACUSA's Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

Is it impressive ? I hope so because I worked hard to achieve this result.

Who am I fooling ? Tell me. Trying my best, every fucking day to keep my head up. Everyday I end up crying myself to sleep. Like a fucking teenager who's denied her phone. I'm so pathetic.
But still, I must be gifted in hiding my feelings because nobody never asks questions. Well, it's not like they cared. But once again I sound like a teenager.
But at this point I don't care. I'm at the lowest point one's depression could get. And it's pathetic because I know I'm not the only one. Some lived worse.
But I can't get over it. She was beautiful. Her smile took my breath away, her eyes could see through my soul. Her dimples could cheer anybody up. I loved her. The truly, madly, deeply kind of love. And she was pregnant with my child, a boy. I often imagine him with her blonde hair, and my eyes, her dimples and my nose. I would have loved him with my all entire being. But I was a wizard. And they were No Majs. Well, I never knew if my son was a wizard or not. Died before he was even born.

My wife knew what I was, when you're married, you have to know every secrets from one another. Especially one that big. I could not obliviate her every time she glimpse at a newspaper with moving pictures or when she saw things she shouldn't see or when she questioned me but she was a so nice and good person, that she accepted it. She was really excited about it and I showed her easy few magic tricks like red sparks or Lumos. I even showed her my patronus, and explained all about patronuses to her, that it changed when you're in love with someone.  And I showed her the silver eagle that was zooming in our bedroom and she told me that it was her favorite animal and that she identified to it. But of course, I already knew.

We loved each other even more after that, if it's possible to love so much someone that you even embrace her soul. And that night, after I produced the patronus, who was so bright from our love, we made our boy. It was the best sex we ever had. Passionate.

She wanted to go to Europe, to discover France and England. But my work was taking most of my time so I payed her the trip, I planned on joining her during the weekend. But when I did, it was too late.

It happened in a street in London, a mass explosion had happened, and she happened to be there.

I never forgave myself. And I never will. If I had been there I could have protect her and all the other No Majs, she would have been alive, smiling and laughing to our baby. We wanted to name him Louis. There's not a day when I'm not thinking about them. About how my life would look like if they were here. I always wonder what our child would look like and if he would be a wizard or not. If he would have gone to Ilvermony and if we would be doing magic together, making his mother fond of him, of us. How proud we would be, if he would've became an auror and would have gone on missions with me.

Sigh.

I miss them. Is it possible to miss someone that never really existed ?

I'm in a really bad state of mind. And I can't talk to anyone, I couldn't take any time off work because we're not allowed to have relations with No Majs. So nobody in the wizarding world knew and will ever know. I have to keep my pain to myself and it was hard to hide but now I'm trained for it. I could hide a 7 years relationship so I could obviously hide my feelings. I was hurting. Myself and people that would try to be close to me. I reject everyone that is not my wife. It's been 2 years but I can't seem to get over it. She was perfect. She made me feel so, we never had bad times, we talked through everything and everything was always good at the end of the day. She gave me the force to go through anything. I need this force more than ever. But she's not here. And I have to face it all alone.

Who am I fooling ? Everyone apparently.

But, for now, I have an important project on my mind nobody knows about. Lately, I had a vision. And I'm not really gifted in this area but it's in the family since long so I end up having visions that I can control but I can't really know what they contain, I have a general idea but even if I really worked on this issue I still can't achieve a precise result.

I saw a child, I have no idea if it's a girl or a boy but they got immense powers. They're related to these blokes, the Second Salemers.
That's all I know. I saw a black wind, which reminded me of an obscurus. But it can't be possible, we didn't see any since centuries and they disappeared. But I'm not good at visions so I might be mistaken on what I saw.
This vision was giving me hope, it was making me a bit happy because I finally had a goal.

But nothing mattered now that I had to find the child. I was only shown the immensity of their power.
And then, these strange events started to happen in New York. The Ministry had announced the emergency state was installed. I investigated the place where damages had been the greatest and I saw that it was due to no wizard so the fears concerning Grindelwald were not based on facts but only on fear.

"It was a beast. I know what I saw and I can recognize magic when I see some. This was no spell, there's a thing out there that is for sure not friendly and we should send the aurors to find it as quickly as possible." I said to Mrs Picquery, our President.

She listened to what I said, generally she would think about it to see if I was right or if it was worth sending the aurors. But she didn't know what to do at that point, she was scared too even if she tried not to show it. We were in dark times and wizards were scared. We risked exposure.

"Percival, we need to find a solution. What did you see exactly ? What kind of beast was it ?" She tried to sound determined but I knew she was scared. I could read it in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Seraphina, I couldn't see more. It was invisible, the wall broke and then the street was destroyed from underneath, it was like a powerful wind. And-" I stopped, seeing her expression, raising an eyebrow.

Doubtful, she said : " A powerful wind ? We're going to need a bit better to explain what's happening right now, Percival. Our community awaits an explanation for a risk this high of exposure." She sighed.
"It's really important, we risk the exposure of your kind and exposure means war. Do your best, we need to stop this beast before the International Statute of Secrecy is broken."

She dismissed me.

I did not talk to her about my vision. But at this moment I knew that it was related to the events happening in New York.

I went to a meeting of the Second Salemers, it could help me figure out what was really going on.

" You ! Friend ! Are you a seeker ? A seeker after truth ?" A woman said, with a cruel look on her face.

"Er, I'm more of a chaser, really." This made me laugh. The guy in a long blue coat had just made her shut up.

I really hated this woman, I heard she was beating her children, all of them. Couldn't she realize the chance she had to have children ?

Then I saw him.

Dark eyes, dark hair, dark clothes and the same darkness in his expression. He seemed so sad, so helpless, it broke whatever was left of my heart.

He looked my way.

I couldn't smile to him, what he contained in his eyes was way worse than I imagined. I needed someone to help me find the child and he was directly linked to the Second Salemers so he was in contact with hundreds of children that could be the one I was searching for.

I came closer to him, pretending to take a leaflet from the ones he was handing.
I murmured to his ear.

"Please meet me here at eight tonight. I have something important to tell you."

I could tell he was scared, I smiled reassuringly then I went to a dark alley and disapparated.