dear devonne

[4]

"Mommy that girl looks like you," Lola whispered into my ear. She had finally woken up as we were pulling into the driveway of the house. I told her on the plane where we were going but I don't exactly think it ever processed in her head yet.

"That's because we're twins, sweetheart. We're supposed to look alike," I smiled.

"That's so cool."

I snorted a laugh and looked over to Dallas and Maddie who were sitting on the couch on their phones

"Man, you all just like like you're having the time of your lives."

"You know it," I heard Maddie mumble. Lola jumped out of my arms and ran over to the couch where the girls were sitting. Both of them immediately put their phones down and payed attention to the six-year-old who was gaping at Dallas' nails.

"Mommy can I do my nails like that!?"

"I don't know, baby. You're a little to young to be having hooker nails.." Dallas looked up and narrowed her eyes at me. "..But if your aunts want to paint your nails, that's fine by me."

"Yay!" she squealed. Maddie swooped her up into her arms and carried her upstairs, Dallas trudging behind.

I turned my attention to Demi who was still standing next to me, a now amused expression on her face. I raised an eyebrow at her which she slowly returned.

She suddenly began to grin.

"She's so cute," Demi whispered.

"Uh, thanks."

"You're welcome. Uh, anyways, I already talked to Dallas and she agreed to watch Lola.. and I was wondering if you wanted to go grab something to eat, just the two of us? We really need to talk. Alone."

"Yeah, okay. Just let me go and grab my coat."

"Alrighty."

*~*

"So what's with the pink hair? I mean don't get me wrong, it's hot, but I mean.. why pink?" I asked while sipping on my Mountain Dew.

"I'm going on tour soon, and I thought it would go well with the theme, so I thought 'why not?'" I rolled my eyes. Typical Demi.

"Nice. So like, your still in the music industry? That's exciting," I remarked.

"Yeah.. Living the dream. Anyways, Dev, I know we haven't talked to each other in like, six years, but haven't you ever gotten curious or kept tabs on us at all?"

I sighed, knowing that this would've came up sooner or later.

"I did, for the first two years or so. But I mean, after a while it just became.. too hard. I mean, I love you and all Demi, but I couldn't do it. So I kind of just disconnected myself.. and Lola.. from TV and the Internet and the radio, because I couldn't bare seeing both yours and Maddie's success and not being able to support you or do anything at all."

"It's okay, I get it. But, that means you still don't know about.. my.. situation, right?"

"What situation?"

"I went to rehab, right after I turned eighteen. For, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that and a few other things."

I frowned, "Like what?"

"Uh.. Alcohol, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder.."

I pushed my drink aside and put my head into my hands. I'm such a terrible sister.

"Dev, it's okay, you didn't-"

I cut her off, "That's the problem, Demetria. My own sister went through all of this shit and I wasn't even there to support you or hug you and tell you everything would be okay and I just.." I felt tears spring to my eyes and looked back up to meet Demi's gaze.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Dems."

She got up from her chair and walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"It's okay, Devy. I mean, it's not your fault. How do you think I felt when I found out Momma and Eddie kicked you out? I didn't even get to say goodbye, for Christ sakes."

"I know, but still. I could've at least tried to get a hold of you or something."

"Stop, Dev. It wasn't in your control now stop blaming yourself for it. It was just as much mine and Dallas' fault than it was yours." I released her from my grip and grabbed a fry, shoving into my mouth.

"Jesus Devonne, slow down," Demi laughed.

"Hey, shut up. I'm fucking starving."

"I never thought I'd ever hear you say the word 'fuck'."

"Yeah, well," I mumbled.

We sat in silence for the rest of lunch until it was time to leave.

"Shit," Demi grumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"Paparazzi, they're outside."

"So? Don't you deal with this stuff all the time."

"Well yeah but what do you think they're gonna say when we walk out and they see me with my twin sister who has pretty much been in hiding for six years? I know you're not ready to be exposed into a public light, Dev. And once everyone finds out they'll be on your case. I don't want that for you or Lola, for that matter." I sighed, she was right.

"Well, don't you have a bodyguard? Call him and we'll take the back way out."

She nodded as grabbed her phone.

"Hey, Max."

*~*

I know you all have been commenting and posting on my message board and stuff, asking me when I'm going to update, and I'm soooo sorry for not doing it earlier.

I don't really have an excuse as to why I haven't, I'm just really lazy.

So, this wasn't edited or anything (even though I never actually edit my crap anyways)..

But don't forget to vote/comment. I'm completely open to almost any and all ideas, constructive criticism or whatever.

Adios.