Gonna See If I Can't Unwind (South Park X Reader One Shots)

You Don't Get To Be Sorry (Heartbreaker) - Damien

Word count: 1,173

Warning: short. Led Zeppelin. Pat Benatar. Kind of shitty. Enjoy!

(P.S. this chapter is dedicated to That_Cinnamon_Roll for being awesome and also adding this to a list. We don't really talk but you seem cool. You followed me and I appreciate that.)

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Your love is like a tidal wave, spinning over my head
Drownin' me in your promises, better left unsaid
You're the right kind of sinner to release my inner fantasy
The invincible winner and you know that you were born to be

Most girls would know better than to develop romantic feelings for the Antichrist. Obviously, what with, well, everything about you being so... you, you didn't.

He was tall, dark and prone to bursting into flames at random moments with no given warning. Bloodred eyes and raven hair, with a stoic expression 95% of the time.

And of course he had to just ooze rock and roll.

Just- just- no. Of fuckin' course.

Your one fatal weakness. Cute demonic rock-'n'-roll boys who catch on fire.

Was it really a fatal weakness, or just a fatal attraction? he'd say, making irrestible eye contact with you.

BOTH, you wanted to scream.

Groaning, you tugged at your hair frustratedly. He's basically a beacon of sin and evil. What did I expect would happen, being in a relationship with someone like that?

You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don't you mess around with me
You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don't you mess around, no, no, no

"Hey, you like Led Zeppelin?" A voice asked, kind of deep but surprise had made it rise. "Me too. Stairway to Heaven is pure genius."

You looked up to see Damien, for the first time in your life, smiling softly. You rubbed your eyes, yawning so that you could pass it off as tiredness. "Really?" You asked, tilting your head slightly, still trying to comtemplate why Scary Fiery Death Guy was talking to you. "The Antichrist likes Stairway to Heaven? Or are you just flattering yourself and your father?"

"Hey, it's incredibly hard to incorporate Satanic messages into a song played backwards," Damien huffed.

"I don't get why you assume I don't know that," you shot back. "It's not like I haven't tried it. Robert Plant was talented." You crossed your arms against the Mothership t-shirt. "Besides, no matter how much I'd love to talk to you about Led Zeppelin all morning, I don't believe that you came like fifty yards away from your locker just to say that you liked my shirt. I smell ulterior motives."

"Your sense of smell is awfully predictive of demonic behavior," said Damien, looking adorably miffed. You stifled a laugh at his expression, biting the inside of your cheek. "(Y/n), would you like to go out with me?"

You nearly choked, chomping down on your cheek, mouth suddenly tasting like salty metal and pain. "Gesundheit," you managed to get out, leaning against the locker for support.