Regrets

Chapter Eighteen

18.

Colton's face comes into view as I sit at a coffee shop about three blocks from our-- Vincent's apartment. I've been out for three weeks now. No food except for an apple or banana taken from supermarkets. They're easy to grab and I don't have much of an appetite. I've gotten about ten hours of sleep in total in the past twenty-four days.

I have my cell phone, and thankfully the coffee shop has outlets. Vincent told me he'll still pay the bill until this contract is over with. That gives me some time.

I take a newspaper off of the counter and look for jobs.

I have a lot of experience cooking. I circle some restaurant openings and continue searching.

"Ma'am are you alright?" A middle aged women asks me.

My mascara is smeared down my cheeks and I'm wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, my cut on my arm is on show and my bones are slightly peeking out from my shirt. And I don't even care.

"I'm fine, thank you." I smile, wiping my eyes getting most of the black stuff off.

I look through the newspaper some more and find myself lost in my thoughts.

"Taylor, you can't let this break you." I'm half asleep when I hear his voice.

Colton's voice.

I sit up straight and look left to right. It isn't until I look forward into the kitchen that I see him.

Physically see him.

Him.

Colton.

My best friend.

I breathe in and out quickly, trying to pace myself. This isn't real. I know it isn't real. Colton's dead. He isn't standing three feet away from me.

I'm just hungry. Or maybe it's the loss of blood. Sleep deprivation is another factor.

"Taylor," Colton's hot breath is on my neck now. I shiver and smile. "It's going to be okay. Just hang on. Someday you'll be with me."

I gasp and stand up, grabbing my backpack and taking the newspaper.

I'm not mentally stable enough to talk to Colton, especially when he's dead. That thought pretty much proves it.

"Taylor, stop and listen to me." I lean against a bus stop and look at the apparition of my deceased best friend. "You have to keep doing what you're doing. We'll be reunited. Us. Both. In hell. The devil will be scared shitless." Colton stops talking to let out a loud laugh. I turn my head to see if the lady next to me heard it.

Nope. I'm definitely going insane.

"I haven't seen the afterlife, but I know it's out there. I was told I'd be let in after I took care of something. I was confused for weeks. I went to see my family. But they couldn't see me." He frowns. "And then I heard your voice. I couldn't believe it. You were calling my name." His eyes roam over my body and stop on my arm.

I roll my eyes and turn my back to him. He steps closer to me.

"Why?" He asks quietly.

"I'm hurt." I say aloud. The lady turns her head and gives me a strange look. I mentally kick myself in the ass for speaking.

The women has carrot-orange hair and dark brown eyes. The age definition in her face tells me shes sixty but the brilliant color of her hair and soft look of her lips say shes half that. Shes dressed in an ankle length dark brown skirt with a beige t-shirt and a dark, pukey green cardigan over it. Her dark brown sandals reveal her poorly unkept feet. Her toes are basically purple and her toenails are far overgrown. She's playing with something, a necklace or string.

"You won't be hurt for long." Colton says. I turn my head to stare into his miraculous blue eyes I've missed so much but he's gone.

My stomach churns. I need to be checked into an insane asylum.

I sit in the uncomfortable seats of the bus and close my eyes. I have my music blasting. I know the couple a few spots away can hear it.

I don't care. My music calms me. Especially this song. Caraphernelia by Pierce The Veil.

I lay my head back as the song plays. After what feels like a few minutes, someone taps my on the shoulder.

I take out my headphones and look around.

"Ma'am is there somewhere you need to be? It's rather late and my rounds are done."

I shake my head and stand up. I stumble aimlessly onto the street and into a bar down the road.

Guys whistle at me, they're all just drunk. I sit on the bar stool and the man next to me looks at me curiously. I stare back.

"Whats a young lady like you doing in here so sad and alone?"

I give him a weak smile and simply say, "Just need a drink or two."

The old man is something you'd see in a movie. He has an eyepatch over his right eye and scar slightly showing underneath it. His hands look rough and the dirt under his fingernails gives off that he's a hard working. His visible eye is dark brown and his hair is basically all grey except for a few black patches. His face is sagging and he's not the skinniest. Seems pretty harmless. He's dressed in a plaid grey t-shirt and blue pants with suspenders.

I order a double vodka, I'm asked for my ID and thankfully I turned twenty-one not too long ago. I become so used to drinking at home with Vincent or even Colton when we snuck things from our parents stash.

I sip my drink and listen to the old man ramble on about his life.

After my third drink he pats me on the back.

"I'm Sven." He hold out his hand and I politely shake it.

"Taylor,"

"Nice to meet you Taylor, I wish the best to you. I'm heading out."

"Do you need a cab?"

Sven shakes his head and walks out the front door.

Just as he leaves a total tool takes his spot.

"Hey, I'm Jeremy." He brushes the hair out of my eyes and I pull back.

He laughs loudly and then his face twists in terror.

"What the hell is that?" He spits, pointing at my arm.

"Shit happens." I say, and walk out -or should I say, stumble out- of the bar.