Regrets

Chapter Seven

I try to move. I try to tell her to do something, but I just sit there. What the hell just happened? I thought he was going to be fine.

I feel my torso tighten up. I can't breathe, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to cry. The nurse calls in a doctor and he calls in two more. they get a hospital bed and rush him to the ER, I'm guessing.

A nurse comes in and ushers out Cody and Allison. They willingly go with her, dodging my eyes. I can feel my chest getting tighter. I put a hand to it and start breathing heavily.

Inhale. One, two, three. Exhale. Inhale. One, two, three. Exhale. I repeat this. I really need comfort, or maybe just relief. But I'm pretty sure I'm alone and I'm not going to find any of that here.

I need my blades.

I start crying.

I haven't cut in a couple weeks. Didn't feel the need to. Now I have to. It's like a drug. I'm addicted to it.

The nurse comes back in and starts checking things, like my chart and the monitor attached to me. She makes sure all my IV's are in place. I don't know who she is, she isn't my regular nurse. She pulls out one of those tiny flashlights and inspects my eyes. I just sit there, staring at her. Wondering how this is helping Colton.

Colton. I start crying again. The nurse pulls away quickly and looks terrified at my outburst. Within the first sob I realize I stopped exhaling and was holding my breath. Everything's spilling out now. I'm just rambling on to this nurse who probably doesn't even know my name.

"I love. . . him. . . . Please. . . don't let. . . anything happen. . . to him. . . please." I sob and tears are falling all over. I can feel my face get "scrunchy". My lips are curled into a snarl like position, but I don't care how ugly I look. I can't stop crying. I just want to know he's okay.

"Uhm. . ." The nurse looks at me. "Miss, I think he's going to be fine, but you need to relax. You're just finally starting to recover fully. Any wrong movement could send your body back into pain." She explains

As if on cue, my back arches and I feel pains shooting through my ribs. I feel like all my insides just detached and shattered at the bottom of my gut.

My feet go numb. And my fingers shortly follow. I can't feel my body. I can't feel anything. Not even the pain in my heart.

"H-help." I choke out. I can see the nurse out of the corner of my eye. She looks absolutely terrified. Is she new? With a hand I can't feel, I reach out to her. I yelp in agony and put my hand firmly back at my side.

"Uhm. . . someone! Help! She's. . . uhm." She doesn't finish. She just runs out. And the door slamming is the last thing I hear.

When I wake up, it's dark. I think I'm in a different room. It smells cleaner. I have more IV's and I think they've put me on another monitor. I lie there for a maximum of ten minutes and then my heart lurches out of my chest.

Colton.

I press the panic button and my nurse comes rushing in.

"What is it, Taylor?" My nurse, Camilla, asks.

"Colton. Is he alright? Do you know? Is he alive?"

She stares at me for what seems like days. She chews on her lower lip and her eyebrows crease in the middle.

"Taylor," She starts. This isn't good. "Colton is not in good shape. He was having problems with his brain and heart before the accident. They seemed to have been going on for the past six weeks. They're doing tests to see if it is cancerous, but everything has been unresponsive. Even Colton. They aren't sure if he'll make it at this point."

How could they miss that? I thought they did a full body scan. I thought they tested him. I thought we were going to be okay.

I take in the information. I hear Camilla's voice but I don't know or care what she's saying. I just care about Colton. She's probably just telling me what's wrong with me, but I'd rather be dead anyway.

After two hours of staring at the ceiling, Camilla comes in and sits in the chair beside my bed.

I turn my head towards her. She gives me a weak smile and places her head in her hands before looking up at me.

With tears in her eyes she simply says, "Colton is dead."

A/N and you all thought they were going to live happily ever after. c; sorry guys. I don't know. Winged it. Having personal problems, so sorry for the extremely over due post. Enjoy xx