To You

i wish...

im not strong

and im tired of pretending to be

im not happy

and no matter how hard i try to be

im not

i prefer to just blame it on my depression

but before even tho i had depression you couldn't tell

and back then i didn't always have to pretend to be happy

but this past few years i could see me falling in deeper

and now i don't know how to get out

before i never took my antidepressants because i didn't need them

and because i was afraid if i took them

one day i won't be able to live without them

because i saw my mother take so many and she never got better

the doctors always changed her medicine but still none worked

and when she ran out of medicine she looked really sick

without those medicines my mother couldn't go on

i didn't want that

i thought i could fix myself without medicine

but now i don't know how

and im sick of pretending to be ok

so tho i don't show you how i feel

im anything but ok

so don't say ill be fine

just because you can't see

i wish it was that simple