Project Equality

Vacation (4 of 7)

Jenna

After all that had happened that day, I just wanted to be with my best friend, so I called Momma Mary and asked if I could stay at Lynn's. She said yes, so I told Chris I'd be staying the night.

"Crazy day," Lynn laughed, sitting on her bed. "Things really will never go back, will they?"

"No," I agreed. "I just hope Hazel and May are doing alright, you know?"

"Yeah. It's been hard on them," she sighed. "I just hope that Hazel figures herself out soon, you know? She's a wreck when it comes to her future. She always knew what she wanted, but now it's changing."

"I feel that," I admitted.

"What do you mean? You want to be an event planner who dabbles in interior design."

"It's such a childish dream," I countered. "I can't try to control things my entire life, and seeing you guys know what you want, it's making me think."

Ely always knew she wanted to be president and Lynn always wanted to be a journalist. May knew she wanted to be a cellist like her mom, and Lisa found her love in photography. Amilia was going to do the craziest thing a math genius could do and become a painter. Hazel was so set on biochemistry that she fought tooth and nail any sign that said she should do otherwise, but me? I lacked ambition, I didn't know what my purpose was.

"Jen, you're going to figure it out. There's still time."

"Not like there used to be. We've been friends since seventh grade, right? Back then, there was time. Now, there's just over a year. We have to know the college we want to go to so that we have the option of pursuing our dreams. I don't want to wander in aimlessly, so by senior year, I need a plan."

"You've always had a plan for everything," Lynn sighed. "Why don't you do something crazy for once and just wing it?"

"I don't understand."

"Instead of over thinking it, why not try new things? Go to clubs and events that sound even remotely interesting. Try new hobbies, read books in genres you didn't even know existed, loosen up a little, dance in the rain. You'll figure it out, Jenna," she promised.

"The school year just ended, I can't try new clubs."

"Okay. What classes are you taking next year?"

"AP Language and Composition, IB World, the second year of IB French, gym and health, chemistry, and AP Government and Politics," I replied.

"Do a club that is similar to each of those," she suggested. "If you can't handle more than one time a day of something, then cross it off the list. If you cross them all off the list, then I'll help you from there."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks, Lynn."

"Anything to help."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"How did you know you wanted to be lawyers?" I asked my moms the next day.

"Well," Momma Kate began, "I took a class on law in high school, and thought it was pretty cool. We had a club that did mock trials, and I fell in love with it."

"I watched a movie with a pretty lawyer woman protagonist," Momma Mary admitted. "When I started, though, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to help put away criminals, you know?"

"What's this about?" Kate asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know what I want to do, and Lynn says to wait and let it come to me. I'm not very good at that, though."

"You've been controlling every possible aspect of your life since your father died," Mary said. "This isn't going to be easy, because for the moment, you don't have any control. But your friend is right, sweetie. All you can do is put yourself out there and try new things, and it will come to you."

"I guess. Thanks, Moms."

I went upstairs to my room, wondering about life, trying not to have an existential crisis about what life even meant or the purpose of it all. It was like I was traveling blindly, no clue as to what my destination was. I needed to figure it out, though. I needed a sense of purpose.

But back in the summer of 2016, my only purpose was planning the Club vacation.

Every year, we had a month getaway, and it was the most zen, relaxing, tranquil, peaceful, and several other synonyms thing in the world. We still make it a point to get away every year. Being the most organized in the group, I always planned it out, and every year it got a little bit better. The previous year was ruined slightly by hiding out in the Canes' safehouse, so I had to make an epic comeback.

Usually, our "theme" was just, Fuck Yeah, It's Summer, but I needed it to be more for this year. That was when I realized that spa retreats were supposed to be the most relaxing thing in the world, and thus our new yearly theme was born (at least now we go to real spa retreats, but for some fifteen and sixteen year olds, the at-vacation-home one was great).

Lynn's Aunt Chrissy used to sell Avon stuff to make money on the side, but eventually she just had a bunch of stuff that she didn't know what to do with. She still had it, and I knew there would be spa stuff somewhere in there. I quickly sent her a text - there was work to be done.

The next person to inform was Lisa, because she made the Club newsletters, and I needed her to get started right away. There was a week until vacation, and I needed everything in order.

I might've been an excellent event planner if I'd taken that route.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I just wanted to let you know that I love this idea," Lisa said before Club that Tuesday.

"What?" I asked, because she never said that she liked my ideas. She was always disagreeing with me.

"The spa thing, I love it! I have so many vegan and organic things for you all to try - trust me, a break from meat and artificial hormones will do wonders for the soul. Oh, and incense, and crystals, and dream catchers, and- "

"Lisa," I interrupted. "Thanks."

"Of course," she replied. "I want this to go perfectly as much as you do, it's my vacation too."

I smiled at that. "Yeah. It's all of ours, isn't it."

"You're so much more pleasant in the summertime!" Lisa laughed before dashing off to find May. I'd heard that several times, and it was probably true, though I didn't know why.

It didn't matter. Everything was going to be perfect, just this once. We all had a lot coming our way once school started.