Project Equality

Moirail of the Year

Lynn

Aubrey laid on the couch while I sat upside down on the armchair that rainy afternoon. She was scrolling through Instagram, and I was reading the newspaper, but we had a nice thing going there. We went through different forms of media to get inspiration for the next Henry the Doodle comic, relaxing in total silence, and it worked for the creative energy.

"Did you get this?" she asked suddenly.

"What?" I asked, pulling myself up to see what she was showing me.

"Jenna's birthday plans."

"Oh, yeah, I know. It's an intense schedule."

"How can she enjoy this?"

"She can't," I sighed. "Her thing is control, but the fact that she won't really be able to control the events will just result in a mental breakdown, and she'll be miserable on the day she becomes an adult."

"Why do I feel like you have a plan?"

I smirked. "Why, Aubrey, I always have a plan. But we have work to do."

She groaned. "I don't have any ideas."

"Well, gee, who'd have thought going through Instagram wouldn't inspire someone on what to write for their bird comic?" I laughed. "Oh, wait, me."

"Shut up, I tried. I was mostly going through our old stuff and people's comments."

"What do our lovelies want?" I asked.

"A romantic vacation for Henry and Robin in Paris." She frowned upon saying the word, and I had a feeling that I knew why.

"She doesn't even have to exist in this world, Aub."

"But she exists in this world. I just can't believe I let my first love ruin me like that. Is it always like that? Who was your first love?"

Hearing her ask that question was like one of the many times that she accidentally said things that drove a dagger through me. Now, I know what you're thinking: "What about Viktor? Don't you love him? You haven't been interested in Aubrey since middle school, Lynn." That makes logical sense, but I guess it was just a rough crush for me. For the first time, I really liked someone other than Adam, and then she had to reject me. I say "had to" for a reason, though. It wouldn't have worked, especially not back then. She wasn't ready to have that conversation with herself. That was okay. It just occasionally sucked. So, I went with the age-old dead ex-boyfriend line to save myself from being honest.

"It was Adam," I lied, avoiding eye contact like I was going to cry. Not that it didn't make me immensely sad to think about his young life cut too short, but he wasn't my first love. He was just my first boyfriend.

"Oh. I guess that sucks in a different way, then."

"Not really. He broke up with me because he was in love with Noah. They were cute, I'm sure you remember that. Hurt like a mother fucker, though. I'm happy he got to figure himself out so soon, but my seventh grade heart was shattered."

"Yeah. Does it ever get better?"

I shrugged. "It may have, but after he died, those feelings linger in a different sort of way." That part was true, at least. Maybe not the way it was true for May and Shreyas, but still true.

"Wait, you're playing me," she realized. "You pulled the dead ex-boyfriend card, who was your real first love?"

My heart sank as I lowered my head back to the floor. "You were, alright? And on some levels, yes, it stops sucking, but on other levels, it's always a little rough to see you like someone else, even rougher to see you get your heart broken. Happy?"