Project Equality

Prom Night

May

I woke up on the morning of prom just shortly before Lisa did, which was unusual for us. If I was awake before her, it must have only been four something, not exactly an ideal time to wake up on a night that promises to be late and long. Sure enough, upon checking the clock, I saw that it was only quarter to five. I groaned and rolled over, forcing my eyes shut, but my brain was starting to whir with thoughts, and falling back asleep was a hopeless endeavor.

Senior prom was not anything spectacular in my mind. I had gotten the gist of the experience as a junior, and did not see why we were all going again, but the whole friend group insisted that it would be the best night of our lives. Most of us are extremely introverted, though, so it honestly was not the best night of our lives. It does not have to be. Who the hell made up that rumor anyways?

Still, I knew that Lisa was excited, and she was the love of my life, so on some level, I was excited with her. She was probably going to take pictures all night, trying to capture the mood of the evening, being happy and in love with her camera, and I was determined to be a good girlfriend. I had been getting bad at that lately.

One should think that more time would have meant more peace with Shreyas' death, right? For some reason, though, it was seeming to only get worse before better. It did not consume my every thought, but I bring it up so frequently so that you might understand how deeply rooted of a problem it was. Agent Simon tried to help me through it, but eventually I gave up and told her that I was doing better. She wanted me to go to a support group, and I politely refused, though I knew it may have actually helped.

I was distracted at school and at work, and even though Lisa and I were together just about every night, it was no secret that most of the time, I was in another universe. She had been unreasonably patient with me during that time, and I was well aware that I did not deserve it. Still, she was calm and kind, always dedicated to making things work. I suppose that is love, though.

For the night of prom, I was determined to be there, to be present, to be with her. I did not want Shreyas to come back so that we could dance or laugh together. I only wanted to be there with Lisa. Deep down, I knew these thoughts were going to stir up trouble eventually, but for right then, I owed it to her to be my best self.

My thoughts started to break as her alarm went off and she drowsily reached over and hit snooze. I watched her do this about seven more times before shaking her gently. I had never been awake before her, and I could not help but feel shocked. I always assumed she was a morning person who jumped right out of bed, never needing snooze. Clearly, I was wrong.

"Oh, gosh! May, I didn't know you were awake!" she gasped, almost falling out of bed.

"Sorry," I laughed. "I did not plan on being awake, but my body decided it was time. I see that you are not the morning person you claim to be."

"I'm so sorry that you had to find out like this," she joked, rolling onto her back. "I like mornings, but mornings don't like me, so we have to duke it out every day when the alarm clock goes off. See, the alarm clock is my teammate. It bugs me until I have to give in and just get out of bed."

"I see," I noted. "Well, today is a big day, is it not?"

"Ah yes, senior prom. It's like, the only mile stone left before our last day of high school and graduation."

"Yeah." I sank back down into the bed, thinking about just what that meant. We were almost on to college. Sure, I knew what school I was going to, as did most of us (except for Hazel and Ami), but that did not make any of it less frightening. It was not like Marcos could console any of my fears, either, because he did not go to college, so I felt pretty alone. The person I would have talked to about it was, well, my father. There was no way in hell I was going to visit that man in prison, though. Not after all he did, after all the lives he ruined.