I'll Walk To Heaven

Chapter 19

Samantha's P.O.V

Nothing. I can't feel anything. No hunger. No anger. No pain. No sadness. No anything. What is happening to me?

It's like I can't function. I'm seven months pregnant. I'm alone. I have no one. It seems that way anyway. I have my family, but it feels like I have no one at all.

I barely feel the boys anymore. I'm not sure if it's because they're not moving or because I'm not really waiting for it.

"Sam do you want something to eat?" My mother asked, walking into my room. I accepted the turkey sandwich only because I knew that the boys needed it. Each bite was worse than the one before. All food tasted gross now.

My mother sat and watched me eat until I finally said something.

"If I promise I won't suffocate myself with this turkey sandwich will you please leave?" I asked. She looked hurt, but I didn't care.

"I-I'm not worried about that, I just wanted to make sure that you ate it," her face softened. I stuffed the rest in my mouth and chewed angrily.

"I have to eat," I rolled my eyes. No really, what is happening to me? I knew that what I just did was extremely out of character, yet I can't make myself apologize. I can't allow myself to care.

It's been almost a week, and I still wait for him to walk in the door. I still wait for him to text me. When I close my eyes every night, I can't help but to dedicate my dreams to him. Why am I like this?

"Hey... Sam." Great, another person. I looked to the doorway, Will stood unsure of whether to enter or not.

"Come in and shut the door," I folded my arms on my stomach. I watched the ceiling as I heard the door close and felt the bed sink next to me.

"How are you?" He asked. He comes in every day and asks me this, and every time I have nothing to say.

I looked at him. I really looked at him. His eyes were sunken in and his hair was greasy and stuck to his forehead. He was tapping his leg nervously.

"No, Will. How are you?" I asked. For the first time in about thirty hours, I sat up. I moved a piece of his hair out of his eyes. My baby brother looked horrible, but I'm sure he was thinking the same about me.

"Me? I'm okay," he nodded and pursed his lips. I grabbed his hand and squeezed, his palms were clammy.

"Are you?" I questioned. He looked down at our hands and shook his head lightly. Worry, I felt worry. That was the first feeling that i've felt.

"What's wrong?" I asked, casing my other hand around ours. He looked unsure, scared.

"I'm worried about you," he murmured. My face softened.

"Please don't worry about me, I promise I'll be fine... eventually," I tried my best to reassure my baby brother. He seemed to gain color after he looked me over again.

"He's been here a few times," he announced. I creased my eyebrows together, what?

"Tyler? He's came every day, Sam." His voice seemed to be from a long narrow tunnel. He's been coming for me? They didn't tell me?

"William why hasn't anybody told me?" He was talking but he paused to gawk at my use of his full name. I was mad now, that's the second emotion I've felt since Tyler left.

"Mom didn't want to make you worse, not to be rude, but you've been pretty hard to live with the past week." He's right. Mom has been growing gray hairs since I stopped getting out of bed. I've worried her to death, I know it, too. I've been too caught up in myself to care, but I notice.