silver lining » wonwoo

fourteen;

When they stopped by a flower shop, Wonwoo thought they were going to visit someone alive. But it turned out that she surprised him by taking him to a cemetery.

Despite how weird it seemed to him, Yiseul had actually been smiling the whole time so he played it cool. She probably thought of him as a creep too when he didn't tell her where they were going earlier.

The two of them stopped in front of a grave made of white marble. Wonwoo watched as Yiseul comfortably sit down.

On the tombstone was curved, Park Jaeha. 1972 - 2005.

Yiseul stroke it dearly like it was a living thing she really treasured. She even smiled sadly at it as if the tombstone knew everything by the look in her eyes.

It wasn't such a strange sight to him though. He knew, if he ever visited Minjung's grave, he would do the same.

Minjung. Remembering that name did no longer burden him like he thought it would be.

In fact, instead of the painful memories he had with her, her bright smile was the only thing that appeared in his mind whenever he was reminded of her.

Maybe he needed to visit her once. Maybe it was the time for him to appropriately say good bye to her.

"Are you doing well there, mom?" she asked softly. "I hope your smile always blooms like the flowers here in spring. Though it's almost summer and I will have my college entrance exam in a few months! Unbelievable, right?"

She laughed. Rather than painful, it sounded lonely instead.

"Oh I brought your favorite flowers," she continued, putting down a bouquet of carnations. "And I brought a friend too this time, his name is Wonwoo. He likes reading just like you. He's a good kid so you don't have to worry."

Wonwoo was caught off guard looking at her when she threw him a proud smile which he returned with another smile.

He had always known that her mother was never around. But not until now when he figured out that she had passed away. And he somehow felt bad for not knowing.

She always appeared too bright to have experienced loss. Yet one thing he didn't know was how much she hid behind her smile.

"I'm leaving now, okay? Take care and keep watching over us," she stroked the tombstone one last time before a faint whisper came out of her mouth, "And I'm really sorry mom."

*

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, his hands restlessly spinning a cup of coffee they brought earlier in a café nearby. They were sitting on a bench that used to be a bus stop somewhere near the graveyard.

Yiseul turned at him, shooting him a small smile which urged him to quickly look away, "Thanks, I guess."

"I should've said a word or two to your mom so I didn't appear to be rude," he said and she laughed.

That laugh. That soft laugh that always managed to make him blush and open the cage of butterflies in his stomach.

Then it was silent for a solid minute.

"It was quite a snowy Christmas Eve," Yiseul spoke up silently, looking down at her coffee before finishing it in one shot. "I was just as excited as other kids for Christmas. Though you know there's nothing special about it."

True. Kids are probably getting excited for Christmas for nothing.

"I was at a friend's house that day and my mom promised to pick me up. But until it got dark, she still hadn't picked me up. I thought maybe she forgot, or maybe Hyungsuk was being fussy that day. So I called my dad to pick me up on his way home and he agreed.

"But when we got home, the lights were off as well as the ones in the Christmas tree. Everything just seemed off and her car was nowhere to be seen. What was surprising was that Hyungsuk was sleeping soundly in his room. Had it not been a call from the hospital, we wouldn't know that she got into an accident and was in a critical condition."

There was a long pause. Wonwoo threw a glance at her who was looking at the distance. She was breathing heavily, and he knew for a fact that she had been holding everything in for too long.

"I had prepared a gift for her, I really did. But when we got to the hospital, with all the Christmas carols and decoration, it felt like I wasted my time on making the knitted scarf, because the doctors told my dad there was no way to save her. In short, she passed away by the time we got there."

In this late spring, the wind was still blowing too cold. The moon had already peeked over the clouds, making him wonder if he should just take her home right now just because he simply didn't know what to say or do.

"I just miss her so much. My dad even got depressed for months after her funeral that he had to leave me and Hyungsuk at our grandparents' house. It wasn't easy for me either, with all the memories and guilt kept coming back at me," she let out a deep sigh. "Although I have slowly let her go, it's just not easy as I keep thinking how different everything would be if she was here. How dad might eat his meals appropriately, how Hyungsuk might be a little less of a rascal."

Wonwoo was friends with that feeling. They had gone over the same more or less. But he was not good at expressing himself in the first place. Some words he'd say might turn into an "I have it worse" battle or would be taken in different ways. So he just remained silent.

"I just—I just," she stuttered, having a difficulty with the next words she was going to say. She was looking down, her shoulders were already shaking as she took in sharp breaths. "Sometimes, I just wanna tell her that everything isn't okay and how much I wish she was here."

With those words being said, Yiseul—whom he always perceived as a bright girl—broke into tears. Her sobs only got louder and painful to hear.

With no words nor second thoughts, Wonwoo scooted closer to her, pulling her into his embrace and letting his shoulder to be a place she could lean on.

*

idek what this is anymore but c–can you smell the ending is near? i hope everyone's having a nice monday ahead💕