{forever?} × fillie

chapter seventeen; the last message

millie:

Tossing and turning all night. It's like I couldn't shut my eyes for more than five minutes. Finally around three a.m. I was able to shut my eyes. At least for a few hours.

sadie sink💣: Hey Millie, this is Sadie's mom. I got your message last night and I wanted to let you know that Sadie and I no longer live in that area anymore. We decided it would be best if we moved out of the area since Sadie has been feeling pretty upset lately. Sadie told me what she told you, and she wanted to apologize because she didn't mean to hurt you. She only said the things she did because she didnt want you worrying about her when we moved. Again, we're so sorry we couldn't say our goodbyes.

My heart dropped. Sadie was gone. Not actually, but she was gone. She didn't even say goodbye to me. I'm glad to know she's okay, sorta, but that she's doing okay and most importantly- she's alive.

I just wonder why it was Sadie's mom and not her texting me.

millie❤: That makes sense, I don't blame her and I totally understand. Is Sadie taking a break off of her phone?

sadie sink💣: She doesn't really want to talk to anyone right now

millie❤: that's totally fine.

-

I understood that Sadie probably didn't really want to talk to me still. Now I don't have to worry myself everyday because I know she's okay.

Later that night I wasn't really that hungry so I decided to skip dinner. I took a shower and I was just relaxing watching some TV. Suddenly I received a text.

sadie sink💣: millie it's sadie, i know we haven't talked in a while but i really need to talk to someone right now.

I immediently answered back.

millie❤: what's wrong sadie?

sadie sink💣: I can't do this anymore

millie❤: sadie don't you dare give up on me

millie❤: sadie

millie❤: sadie please answer

millie❤: i'm here for you just please answer back

millie❤: please you're stronger than this. we all love you

millie❤: sadie..

I honestly don't know how much more I could cry. She wouldn't answer me. I tried to call, FaceTime, Snapchat, text, and basically try anything to reach her but it was no point. It's twelve in the morning  I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I just felt my heart crack.

This night needs to be over. I decided to send one last message to my best friend.

millie❤: Sadie, if you do this you will be leaving me, Finn, Noah, Gaten, and Caleb. Please don't do this. I can't lose you. I've already lost you once and I'm not doing it again. I love you.

I shut off my phone and just laid there in my bed. I put on my 'sad songs' playlist on Spotify and started to cry. The tests were streaming down my face because I knew that in the morning it would be different. Sadie won't be here anymore.

And hopefully I won't be either.

-

this broke me a little hahaaa

sorry for the tears