The colour grey // phan

Phil

A few days went by.
Doctor appointments, chemo had just started for dan.
It was overwhelming.

Phil wasn't dealing with it as badly as he thought he would. In fact, he was quite optimistic about the situation.
They would move in together, make themselves a life.
Dan would be cancer free and they'd spend their days loving each other unconditionally.
But for now it was hospitals and care giving.

They were an official couple now. Dan had asked Phil the day the news was broken.
It was a definite yes. Phil was in love, excruciatingly so.
Dan was his last hope, the love of his life. He couldn't let that go.
That's why he had a future planned out for the two, because he couldn't bear the thought of losing dan.

Each time dan came home, he was a little paler, a little thinner and a little more tired.
Phil still made him feel normal. He didn't fuss about him.

"Phil!" Dan said excited to see his boyfriend, after a four hour chemo therapy session.
"Hey bub" Phil smiled and let dan wrap him in his arms.
It was a warm hug, one that mixed with passion and emotion, leaked sadness and happiness.

Dan was beyond pain. He didn't feel it at this point, of course sometimes it was excruciating, he wanted to rip his head off, he wanted to end it, he wanted to stop the pain. Dan had passed out from taking too many pain killers, unintentionally of course.
Dan mostly felt tired and weak. He was always short of breath.

"Phil I want this to be over" dan whispered. They were standing in the waiting room of the hospital. It was still as bleak as it first was.
Dan carefully crouched into his wheelchair and closed his eyes as Phil pushed him through the door.
Dan daydreamed of bright flowers and children, of Phil's face, the details.
He memorised him.
He memorised him as vividly as possible.

AGHHH THIS IS SO SHORT KILL ME

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I'm super cringey tho ew.