Nobody To Blame

Chapter 11

**Ava's POV**

Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.

I heard the beeping first, then I slowly opened my eyes.

My heart sunk when I recognized the white walls and sterile smell, I failed.

Both of my arms were throbbing and I grit my teeth in pain, but it didn't help.

Just then a nurse walked in and smiled at me with a look of pity on her face, "Hey honey, here's some pain killers, how are you feeling?"

I took the pills and scowled at her, I tried to kill myself and now I'm in pain, in the hospital, how did she think I was feeling!?

"There's a group of people in the waiting room for you, would you like me to send them in?" She asked politely,

"Sure." I mumbled and she left.

A few minutes later the door opened again and I looked up to see Rydel, Ratliff, and Ross.

"Your a fucking idiot! But I'm glad your okay." Rydel said sniffing and wiping her eyes before hugging me tightly.

I forced away tears and hugged her back, "I know, I'm sorry."

Ratliff came over and ruffled my hair before hugging me, "don't ever do that again, I can't lose my best friend."

Ross looked at me like he wanted to say something, but kept his distance and stayed quiet.

"We have to go, but me and you are going to talk later." Rydel called over her shoulder as they walked out, leaving me alone in the room again.

I had to stay in the hospital for 3 days to make sure I was doing okay and wouldn't 'harm myself' again.

During those three days not one person came to see me, I didn't blame them, and tried to ignore the hurt.

"You can leave as soon as your ready" The friendly nurse said walking in with a smile.

"Okay, thanks." I replied slowly getting up and collecting my stuff.

"Take care of yourself, and just remember, there's always at least a few people who love you, don't push them away."

I paused and gave her a grateful smile before walking out of the building and starting the long walk home from the hospital.

By the time I got home home it was dark, so instead of going inside I layed down and looked up at the stars.

I let myself think about the night I stayed up all night with Rocky talking and looking at the night sky. 

"I really like you Ava, and unlike my shitty brother I actually care about your feelings and would be honored to be your boyfriend." 

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block out all the memories that played over and over in my mind,

Starting with meeting them all at school and being so happy to finally having friends, a best friend, to sleeping with Riker, and then dating Rocky and being happy again,

Only to kiss Riker and ruin my relationship and all my friendships.

I sat up and rested my head on my knees, my eyes burned from unshed tears, but I didn't have the energy to cry anymore so I just sat in the dark, feeling empty and lonely.

"Mind if I sit?"

I looked up at Ross who was standing a few feet away and shook my head.

He sat next to me and pulled me into his side in a half hug, "You scared the shit out of everyone you know...but that's not what I came over to say."

"Why'd you come over then?" I asked even though I already had a pretty good idea.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you basically made our house a war zone, Rydel and Riker are always fighting and Rocky won't leave his room or talk to anyone, and the tension is going to suffocate me."

We sat in silence for awhile before I finally spoke up, "Do you think they'll ever forgive me Ross?" I whispered,

"I know they will, now come on your sleeping in my room tonight so you can talk to them tomorrow without chickening out, besides I don't think it's a good idea to leave you alone right now." He replied looking at my bandaged up arms before helping me stand up.

I nodded and walked beside him without saying anything, he was right, I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts.

He put a finger up to his lips telling me to be quiet, before we snuck in the house and to his room.

"Take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor tonight." He smiled and grabbed a pillow and blanket before laying down and closing his eyes.

I curled up on the bed and tried to fall asleep, my stomach queasy as I thought about how I was going to make things right.

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I woke up to someone knocking on Ross's door, before the handle turned and Riker swung the door open.

He opened his mouth to say something before noticing me on the bed and his face turned red in anger.

"What the hell! Your fucking both of my brothers now!?" He yelled at me, waking up Ross.

Rocky came up behind Riker to see who he was yelling at and locked eyes with me before shaking his head and walking off.

"Damn it! There's nothing going on between me and Ava, I let her sleep over so she could talk to you guys!" Ross yelled at Riker before storming into the living room and yelling at everyone to come sit down, everyone walked in the room, but no one sat down.

"I know your not going to forgive each other over night, but you guys all clearly love and care about each other and right now your making each other feel like shit, fix it." Ross yelled before storming away to his bedroom and slamming the door.

Riker turned and walked to his room without saying a word, and Rydel motioned to Rocky before going to her room.

I shifted awkwardly, trying to find the right words to say to him.

"Rocky...you have to know I didn't intentionally lead you on, I do love you but-"

He looked at me and cut me off, "it's okay, I still love you but I understand we can't choose our feelings, don't worry about me, I'll move on" He paused and I could tell he was choosing his words carefully, "If it makes you happy, go after Riker, but don't let him hurt you."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head before pulling away and walking back into his bedroom.

I slowly walked to Rydel's room and  softly knocked. She opened her door and let me in, "I know saying sorry does nothing without actions to back it up, but I really am sorry, I didn't mean to make everyone in your family be at war with each other." I whispered desperately trying not to cry.

Rydel pulled me into a hug before pulling away and looking at me sternly, "I'm still kind of pissed, what you did to Rocky was low, but everyone makes mistakes, and you really do seem sorry, just don't ever do anything like that again."

I nodded and gave her another hug, "I know I shouldn't of dated Rocky when I still liked Riker, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life." I replied.

"I'm going to go talk to Riker now." I sighed and started walking to his room, but paused when I heard his voice in Rocky's room.

"I know you probably hate me still, but I came to apologize, I shouldn't have kissed your girl, it was a douche move."

I decided to talk to Riker later after he was done talking to Rocky and walked back to Rydel's room.

"Hey, how about that girls night?" I asked poking my head inside her room.

"Sure...lets go shopping" She gave me a small smile and grabbed her phone and keys,

"We'll be back later, don't kill each other while I'm gone!" She yelled and pulled me out to her car.