Skinny Hips // Ashton Irwin

sixteen // the dying person

//Annie//

"Annie, darling!"

I felt as if part of me was literally dripping out of my ears in slow motion, everything felt like slow motion. I could hear Ashton swallow in slow motion. My mother licked her chapped, thin lips in slow motion. And I wished, right then and there, that I was dead.

But I was very much alive.

She stepped in to the room, her legs shaking ever so slightly. I understood this shake; it was her drunken weakness. Her body became limp when she was pissed, as if she'd faint at any moment. I hoped that right now would be that moment.

I didn't look at her but the feeling of my bed dipping beside me signaled that she was there, and then came the feeling of cold, rough skin touching mine and I knew it was her. This was when I finally looked at her.

"I was so worried about you," she said as she grabbed my face. She leaned forward, seeming as if she was about to hug me but instead, the word, "bitch," was whispered in to my ear and I knew I was fucked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, once again fiddling with my fingers and not making eye contact.

Awkwardly my mother glanced between Ashton and I before stopping and settling on me. "To bring you home, silly," she chuckled while grinding her teeth.

"But I haven't lived with you for the past month, mum?"

I could tell my comments were enraging her. She smiled, but it wasn't near a happy smile. Before she could speak again, or kill me even, the door to my room opened once again and a doctor stepped in. He looked at me and my mum and then at Ashton.

"Are you immediate family?" 

"No," Ashton said as he eyed me and my mum. I smiled at him, trying all that I could to calm him down as much as I could.

"I'm sorry but I'll have to ask you to leave."

Ashton didn't argue. He picked his tray of food up before shooting me a nod and leaving. I sighed, my heartbeat finally starting to slow down.

"You must be Ms. Cathaway?" the doctor hummed, "My name is Doctor Hayden and I've been checking up on Annie the last couple of hours. You're aware of how serious her illness is, right?"

"Um, I've actually not seen Annie for a small bit so not entirely, no." At this I couldn't help but scoff, earning me an eager glare from Ms. Cathaway.

"Alright, well," the doctor quietened for a moment as he flicked through a clipboard, his wrinkled eyes squinting at it slowly. "Annie," he sighed before dropping the clipboard on the table and turning to me carefully, "I don't want to have to say this to you; nobody wants to have to say this to anyone. But if you don't start eating again you are going to die. Your body isn't even near the regular weight for a twelve year old, never mind a young girl of seventeen. 

"You have no nutrients, no health; you'll be left with nothing in the next six weeks if you don't change your habits. You're still attending a support group, right?"

My mother answered for me with a nod, I was unable to move at that moment.

"Okay good. I'd recommend a therapist of some sort, but I'm not the decision maker here; it's your best option, though." He turned to me again, this time squatting down so we were face to face. "Annie, I want to send you home, I do. And I will, I don't want you to be stuck in here on a tube when I entirely believe you can make yourself better. But Annie, sweetheart, if you're admitted once more, I'll have to transfer you to the psych ward and you will have to stay there."

The doctor's words didn't process in my head the way I wanted them to. This only made me feel sicker; I felt like vomiting. I knew people who died, but I never expected to be the dying person. 

The doctor requested to speak to my mother outside. She followed him out, a flirty smile on her face as she did so. I thought now I would finally be alone but as if again on cue my door opened and Ashton was here again, this time accompanied by three other boys. They all shot me weakened smiled which I returned all the same.

"What's the story, doll?" Calum asked, taking a seat in a plastic chair behind my bed. Ashton sat down beside my, rubbing his thumb in circles around my hand. Luke and Michael stood.

"I'm going home later," I whispered, the words feeling heavy.

"What did the doctor talk to you about?" Ashton asked as he moved his hand from my palm to my thigh, rubbing simple circles in the skin there instead.

"Just said I should see a therapist," I said and then coughed, my throat burning. I cleared it then and looked up, blinking back tears as best I could before turning and looking around the room at the four boys. "I'm going home with my mum today."

Ashton sighed, Calum scoffed, Michael huffed and Luke hummed, neither of the four knowing a single thing to say to me right now. Luke was the first to speak up.

"How long do you think that'll last? You can keep some of your shit at ours, y'know? If you need to come back," he said, almost mumbling. "You're always welcome."

"He's right." Michael said, deciding it was his turn to speak up now. "We might have not always been nice to you but you're a good kid, Annie. We've no problem having you at ours."

I smiled but looked down, feeling instantly uncomfortable by smiling at them. Ashton grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, instantly getting my attention. My eyes fluttered up and I looked at him, biting my lip as I smiled.

Nobody else got the chance to speak before my door, once again, was opened and in stepped my mother. She crossed her arms, chuckling as I quickly ripped my hand away from Ashton's.

"Dear Lord," she muttered, shaking her head. "Right, all of you out, my daughter is not changing in front of a bunch of lads," she laughed, before speaking again, "although I doubt it'd be her first time."

The boys began to pile out. Ashton rubbed my arm once more and shot me a sympathetic smile before leaving with his three friends.

On the taxi journey back to my mum's she did not speak to me, and I did not speak to her. I had no words to say, the words kept replaying over and over in my head, "you are going to die." I couldn't take it.

It wasn't along until we were pulling up outside the house with the chipped paint and broken chair swing on the front porch that was missing a plank or six of wood. My body shook as I grabbed my stuff and climbed out of the cab, using my energy to enter my house and struggle down the hall to my bedroom. It was the same as how I left it. Mum still did not speak to me.

I did not put anything away, I did not even move, the comfort of my bed enveloped me and I instantly felt safer here then out there with her. 

I could feel my eyelids began to get heavier and heavier until soon I began to doze off to the sound of the front door opening and a man's voice booming throughout the house.