Oceans {Joji Miller}

Chapter 10

    My immediate response was to call Joji. I slammed the door, terrified. I threw the gloves off and chucked them towards the bag that I had also dropped, scattering the hair. I stumbled into my room and swiped onto the 'emergency' option on my phone, because my hands were shaking too much to type in my passcode.
After a few failed attempts of dialing his number, I waited for him to answer, but to no avail. I panicked, not knowing what to do, which always leads to me sobbing uncontrollably. My phone dinged. I read the text, not ceasing my crying. 'How's that for clinging to the man I love? He's mine now.' It read.
Anger, overwhelming anxiety, and jealousy flooded over me, only causing me to sob even more. I chucked my phone at the wall, developing a vertical crack along the middle. Running into the bathroom, I locked the door, even though I knew that no one was going to come in and try to save me. I swept my hand through my cabinet, causing everything to fall to the ground, creating a loud crashing noise.
Finally, I found it. the box of razor blades that I had unscrewed from my old pencil sharpeners a while ago. I didn't hesitate grabbing the first razor blade that I felt, putting it up to my wrists. As I lead it smoothly through my skin, I felt my knees become weak at the sight of blood and stopped halfway. I fell to the ground, fading in and out of consciousness.
Tears were still making their way down my face as I saw a trail of blood flow out from under my wrists and under the door. I could hear loud noises coming from outside of the bathroom, distorted shouting and banging.

I could swear I recognized that voice.

The last thing I heard before everything disappeared was the bathroom door being kicked in.

Joji's P.O.V

     I could swear that someone had touched my hair as I left her apartment. I decided to ignore it, since I don't really care when it comes to people feeling my luscious locks. I took the trip to the nearby pharmacy and bought some flu medication, beginning my drive back. Brooklyn traffic sucked. It seemed to last all day, and when you thought that it was over, it just started up again.
When I finally reached her apartment number, I checked my phone, only to see that it had died due to me not charging it all night. My phone's battery really sucked. I tried the doorknob after a few knocks, assuming that she had fallen asleep after I left. Surprisingly, the door was open, I remember locking it from the inside on the way out. (The lock could be locked from the inside before closing the door.)
I called out her name, getting no answer. I chuckled, realizing that she was probably sound asleep and I was an idiot for trying to get her to answer me after she hadn't answered my knocks. As I made my way down the hall, I noticed that her bathroom door was closed and the lights were on; and she wasn't in her room. I knocked on the door, slightly worried. "You okay?" I asked. No answer. "Hey." I said slightly louder. "______! If this is a fucking joke I'm laughing." I yelled. Still no answer.
I looked down and noticed a stream of blood trickle slowly out of the bathroom. My stomach sank. I jiggled the doorknob viciously, nearly screaming out her name, realizing that it was locked and pounding on the door instead. I finally managed somehow to kick it open, seeing her limp body sprawled out on the floor, blood spurting out of her wrists.
Tears immediately formed in my eyes, I felt like I was about to break down completely, but I knew there was no time for that. I reached for my phone, remembering that it was dead. I ran into her room and found her phone on the floor with a large crack across the middle. It had 7 unread texts from that asshole that decided to ruin her life for no reason, but all I could see before I dialed 911 was 'How's that for clinging to the man I love? He's mine now.' Sick.
  "911, what's your emergency?" The woman answered immediately. My voice trembled as I tried to make out words from the involuntary sobs that were escaping my mouth. "Hello, yes? I-I... My girlfriend just tried-tried committing suicide-she's laying on the floor bleeding out of her wrists right now... I don't know if she's a-alive." I choked on my words as I gave her the address of the apartment. So many years of memories. So many years of me loving her and her not knowing. Gone.
"Sir? Sir. please stay on the line. We've sent an ambulance your way, they'll be there immediately. Can you describe her injuries? Sir?" The woman asked as I sat there, wiping the rivers of tears flowing from my eyes. "O-on her left arm- her wrist was slit halfway-I-" I stuttered, forgetting how to talk. I heard fists pounding on the door.
I hung up and watched two nurses haul her onto a carrier with a blank expression on my tear-stained face. I followed them out and sat in the ambulance, clutching her phone in one hand and her cold, fragile hand in the other. Only now did I notice how soft her skin was and how much she actually meant to me. I loved her, and I loved her a lot. It was all over.
I looked over the texts in order, seeing that they were progressively getting more aggressive. They were all saying about how she stole me from this person that I probably don't even know in the first place, and how she needs to die because her existence on this planet is irrelevant. When we arrived at the hospital, I told her how much she meant to me, and that if she went, so would I. They say the last sense you lose before you die is hearing.