Beating You

Chapter 35

Firstly, sorry! I didn't upload because of exams, they're a pain. But here's the chapter, so I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for all of the votes and comments, you're all amazing! :) enjoy!

Chapter 35

It had been two weeks since I had gone to the police station to visit my dad and it seemed to have passed at one hundred miles an hour. I had also been going to the therapy sessions. Cooper had attended the first couple with me, but I could sense that he felt quite uncomfortable so I went to the rest on my own.

“I just feel like I’m bipolar,” I sighed out, running my fingernail down the fabric of my jeans. Dr Barnes shifted in her seat and shook her head softly.

“Everyone deals differently, Ally,” she replied and I nodded. She’d told me the same thing many times before but I still felt completely abnormal.

“I know, but one minute I’m okay, and the next I feel like crying until nothing more will come out,” I said with a sad tone to my voice and the therapist smiled at me.

“You’re dealing brilliantly. Everyone has different ways of doing things and I have seen many cases where people have been sobbing messes and others where people seem completely unaffected. I think that you’re bottling everything up and then when something is said to remind you, your emotions explode,” she assured and I nodded. I was completely and utterly fed up with my mood swings. I didn’t tell Cooper how I was feeling because I didn’t want him to think that I was stupid, but sometimes he could tell when I was feeling down and tried to cheer me up.

“Thanks,” my shoulders slumped and I stopped rubbing on the fabric of my jeans as it was making my leg go numb.

“I’m proud of you, Ally and no matter what you think, what you’re going through is normal,” she paused as if thinking of what to say next. “Think of this as bereavement. When someone dies, everyone has a different way of grieving. In a way, you have lost your father and it isn’t going to be easy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel,” I smiled and nodded along with her beaming face.

She wasn’t wearing her usual glasses and was sitting slumped in the chair. The therapist seemed a lot more relaxed around me than she used to so we talked more as friends than as a professional relationship. She looked a lot prettier and a lot more approachable without her glasses or her clipboard which was resting on the table next to her chair.

“Thank you,” I said. For once, my words were completely honest.

“Wait here a second.” She got up and started to walk towards a cupboard that was on the other side of the room.

I watched her stroll back carrying what looked like a dark blue beaded necklace in her hand. She dropped it into my palm and sat back down.

The necklace was made of dark blue beads with silver lining, but I couldn’t see the clasp so I just started at it in awe and curiosity.

“They’re worry beads,” she explained and I snapped my neck back up to look at her. She was beaming at me as I ran my thumb over the smooth coating.

“Worry beads?” she nodded and tucked one of her legs under the other one.

“Whenever you feel lost, worried or scared, just juggle the beads between your hands, they will calm you down.” Her voice was full of happiness and I smiled, still playing with the beads. I didn’t normally believe in that kind of thing. I could remember when my teachers used to pass us pennies when we went on coach trips and they told us that if we held onto the penny, then we wouldn’t be travel sick. We all believed it until one of the boys puked up on the way to London; I hadn’t trusted a physiological method since.