Veiled Emotions {Marauders Era}

BROKEN

❝You don’t just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It’s a lifetime of service or death.❞

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Living a normal peaceful life was one of the things that Sirius Black had absolutely no idea about. Some would say it is a blessing to always have some action going on in your life, but in his case, it turned out to be a curse.

From a very young age Sirius had this rebellious vein that could probably destroy anything normal, and as he grew up, so did his will to step out of imaginary lines increased. Sometimes it was just for the sake of proving his stubbornness to the world, but most of the times he did have a point in rebelling.

When Sirius was taught to be a pureblooded maniac, he rebelled. When his family had told him to make them proud by following their steps and being a part of the Slytherin House, he rebelled. Even when life itself slammed its doors in his face he rebelled without a single sign of remorse.

But for the very first time in his entire life Sirius regretted every single rebellious act he had ever committed, and wished more than anything to return back in time and change his entire course of history.

It was night when it had happened. A dark and rainy night that insinuated despondency and despair, as if his entire world had suddenly been filled with the soulless Dementors he had always feared and despised.

As usual, Sirius was out on one of the lethal missions, those in which he rushed headfirst to with no care about whether he will return back alive from them or not, whereas when it came to the Order, Sirius Black was a very vigilant and responsible person, unlike his preferred carefree self.

Willingly he had always volunteered in the suicidal missions, always eager to step into life-wrecking dangers. It was something admired from the Order but frowned upon by his closest friends, because even though they appreciated his nobility and his will to save lives, they hated how reckless and nearly careless he seemed about his own.

But none of them knew how it was all a mean for blocking out the darkness inside him for as long as possible.

Sirius had feared many things in his adolescent life; some of which had already occurred and broke a part of him, and some worst case scenarios he wished to die rather having to witness. Yet, one of the things that gave him day and nightmares was the idea of him succumbing to the darkness he knew was buried inside him somewhere, veiled from the light and waiting for the perfect opportunity to come out and ruin everything he had spent his entire life building. It was tormenting to imagine that darkness controlling and leading him to the most terrible acts, for he knew he won’t be able to fight back his own Devil then.

And that was why Sirius was always adamant to help, because he knew that he cannot let his goodness slip away from his fingers or else the consequences will be severe on everyone.

But barely even anyone ever knew that.

The mission was to barge inside an abandoned mansion to search for some of the Order members that had gone missing. It was planned that five of them would go and infiltrate the place, for they weren’t too sure about the accuracy of the information, and in the end hope as usual that they all return back in one piece.

Of course, everything did not go as planned.

It turned out they had went to a snake’s cave that the Death Eaters cunningly bluffed with, as if awaiting the arrival of some people in the Order so they would finish them off. The Order members were of course outnumbered, but were yet able to get most of the Death Eaters down after countless hours of duelling, leaving them all tired and battered from the excessive amount of magic performance.