Manpower [Russia x Reader Fluff]

Forgiveness and Continuation... Why is General Winter Here?

Russia had lost his sanity during that fateful day in 1242, and he had almost lost his only friend. I had run away from the lake, only stopping once I was sure I had run far from him. He had almost killed someone. HE HAD ALMOST KILLED A CHILD. And he had almost killed me... I was afraid. No, I was terrified, but not of death. I was terrified of Russia and who he had become. I was terrified of who this new boy was. I didn't want the boy I loved to be killed by this new monster. I had run away, far away, so far that Russia surely couldn't have caught up with me.

However, I was wrong. Russia did catch up with me. After about five straight miles of running, I had sat down to rest, leaning against a tree to close my eyes and let the tears fall freely. Why did my only friend have to die? No, Russia wasn't my only friend, for I had China, my first country friend. As I was reminded of China, I brought my hands to my chest and allowed them to curl around China-doll's non-existent hair.

Oh no, I thought, where's China? My doll, his gift, it was gone. She was gone. I must have dropped her. No... my mind whimpered. This broke my heart, my precious doll was now missing. I had carried China with me everywhere, and now, when I needed to hold her the most, she was gone. Why? Why?! Why!! my mind cried.

I leaned my head against the tree and curled the entirety of my body into a little ball. I brought my hands to my chest, my bent legs blocking my bent arms from the cold. I cried for China-doll, I cried for China, the country whom I had left behind. Most of all, I cried for Russia, the boy who I had lost today and who had been replaced by a stranger, no, a monster.  I didn't want Russia to leave me! I wanted him here with me, sitting next to me and holding me as I cried! I wanted Russia, not that... that...

He wasn't a monster, he was undergoing anxiety, or some other panic attack. There was no way Russia could have become so murderous so quickly. He had to have been influenced by some sort of emotion which enforced him to lash out at me. He couldn't have been thinking straight. These thoughts ran through my head and they slowly soothed me, but the worry never left. It stayed there in my abdomen, dulling my pride and content. It ate away at the muscles there, the pain of anxiety's teeth biting through me bringing more heavy droplets to my eyes.

"He can't be gone," I told myself. "Surely, he's gotten to be all right." And sure enough, he was.

"Tekhnologii! Please, wait for me!" a familiar voice shouted from somewhere far away. For the first time ever during the years in which I had known the owner of that voice, I was afraid of it. All comforting thoughts went away from my mind and the newfound fear of Ivan Braginsky came into my heart. The worry which had been eating away at my abdomen sprung up from my diaphragm and lunged into my throat, eating away at the lump, somehow making it stronger with each bite. I looked over my shoulder to the right, and, through the blizzard-like snow, I saw him. He looked exactly like Russia, wearing that same black cloak, grey tunic, and black ushanka* which the boy had been wearing earlier. My mind told me to run from this familiar sight, but something inside me told me to stay put.

When he approached me and addressed me, I said nothing. I remained completely silent, my face void of all emotion. Russia stared at me, looking into my teary eyes. He noticed the tear stains on my cheeks which were freezing in the cold Siberian air which surrounded us.

"Tekhnologii," he spoke once again, hoping I would turn to him and say something, but I didn't. I said absolutely nothing. The same voice in my head which had instructed me not to run ordered that I remain silent. "Tekhnologii, please, say something," Russia pleaded. I couldn't even look at his eyes. Instead, I stared at the scarf which covered his neck.

Suddenly, from somewhere deep within me, a rhetorical question left my mouth with a disgusting after taste. "Did you come here to kill me?" I asked with a monotonous voice. "If so, get it over with."