bad boy-good girl (christian slater)

entry #6

5:14pm wednesday october 2nd 1988

i thought it would be funny to decide to call kurt and inform him about his mistake.

"hey, it's madeline. i was just calling to tell you that i have heard about what you have been saying about me, and i was wondering if you would like it to come true." i said in the girliest voice i could.

j.d. was dying laughing on the edge of my bed, i had to throw a pillow at him so kurt wouldn't hear him. he put it down, smiling at me.

"meet me at dawn, in the woods behind the school. oh, and bring ram." i hang up the phone and laugh really hard while j.d. was as well.

"dude you nailed the part."

"thank you, but i don't get why we have to write a suicide note if we aren't killing them."

"it's all part of the act. we are gonna stun them with these german bullets, it'll puncture the skin but only knock them out. it'll be fine, but i picked up a few things on the way here. a box of chocolates, dude porn, and last but not least..." he holds up a bottle of mineral water.

"hey, mineral water is getting back up there."

"well, the note tops it all off."

"we couldn't live in a world where we were not welcome, we feel ashamed. ram and i could not be ourselves and we certainly could not be lovers in a world like this. we decided to go somewhere where we would be accepted no matter what."

j.d. starts laughing as i finish reading it and stick it in the bag of things. i stand up and face him, kissing his lips. 

we hadn't shared one in a while and it made me feel warm inside. it made me feel myself again. i hear my mom yell at me from downstairs.

"coming mom!" 

i begin walking downstairs but he turns me around and gives me another kiss, this one slower than the other and more passionate.

"i'll see you soon, babe." i walk over to the window as he climbs out of it.

"goodbye, j.d."

- 

5:30am thursday october 3rd 1988

i stand in the woods alone, sticking the gun in between my skirt and my skin. i see kurt and ram approaching, looking nervous but excited.

"hello boys."

"hello madeline, nice to see you." kurt licks his lips maliciously.

"well, do you want us just to whip it out or?" ram says, looking to kurt.

"stand in the circles and strip."

"what about you?"

"i was thinking you could rip my clothes off of me sport." i say.

they strip down to their briefs and j.d. comes out of the woods.

"now!" he shoots ram in the throat and i laugh, shooting at kurt, but completely missing.

"you are just going to miss him completely?" j.d. holds up his hands, beginning to run after him.

it was just a joke, i don't see why he cares if kurt gets away. i see ram on the ground, not moving and i kneel down to see. i push on his chest and he doesn't move, but his eyes are wide open. the bullet was stuck in his throat and it was bleeding. i stick my ear to his chest,

but i feel nothing. ram was dead.