a phoenix in the fire » fillie

chapter 23 ↝ six feet underground

WE HAVE TO END THIS IN WHATEVER WAY WE HAVE TO. NO DOUBTS, NO FEARS, NO REGRETS.

When the steady beeping of his heart suddenly ceased, Sadie thought it was a mistake. It left an unbearable silence. After a moment of hesitation, she yelped, racing to her feet. Running to his bed, she grabbed his clammy hand. He was gasping in his comatose state, tears squeezing out of his closed eyes.

It had been almost a week since Finn hit Romeo, and the entire drama had renewed and continued without pause. There had been no sporadic M messages, a strange occurrence. The last time it happened was before homecoming and Maddie's death. M was planning something. It was the only logical explanation.

Sadie chewed the inside of her lip, glaring at the machines. He wasn't dying. She wouldn't let him.

"No! Don't do this to me!" Tears streamed down her cheeks. She couldn't control them just as she knew she couldn't control his will to live. If he wanted to go, she couldn't stop him no matter how hard she wanted him to stay. "You- you promised!" She shrieked.

Doctors rushed in and pushed her out. She rushed back up to the window, placing her hand on the glass. She knew he wasn't going to wake up. No amount of pleading to any god would wake him up. She licked her lips, bitter tears seeming to burn her tongue. Sadie clasped her hands together behind her neck, looking up at the artificial lights.

By the time Sadie gathered enough courage to look back into the room, the doctors had placed a sheet over his body.

A choke fell out of her dry throat. Sadie collapsed onto the glass, turning and sliding down until she finally slumped against the wall. It didn't matter that there were most likely a thousand harmful germs on the ground.

All she could process was the rapid pounding of her heart and the growing pause of his.

—

"You saw him die?" Finn questioned. Sadie mutedly nodded.

"I'm so sorry," Gaten whispered. Sadie turned to Caleb.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you," she apologised.

"It's okay, Gingerbread."

"It's not. My life is going wrong," Sadie whimpered. She ran her hands through her messy hair, leaving them connected at the back of her neck.

"Sadie, don't be sad." Gaten attempted to cheer her up. It was of no use. Sadie was nearing her breaking point.

"Why do I bother with this? Millie can never come back, Romeo hates me for cheating on him, I was lucky enough to get him back. Caleb was almost beaten up last month. Noah is-" Sadie choked up, clutching at her chest. Caleb rubbed her shoulder and sighed.

"Be positive," Finn started to say. Sadie glanced at him, her eyes growing angry. "You're supposed to be Sadie, happy and positive. Start acting like it."

"You can't expect me to be strong all the time when this crap happens," Sadie replied softly. Finn quieted. Sadie never swore, never in front of them. She dropped a curse a few times, but she never swore without need.

"It doesn't make sense. M has been silent for a month now. What game is she playing at?" Gaten sighed. "Is she prolonging the torture?"

"It just doesn't make sense."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, it looks like everyone in this town is going to die," Sadie sighed. "Maddie died, David died, some other girl that Noah probably killed died, Noah di-"

"He died. He's gone. He's dead. It's over," Finn sharply said.

"Don't say that," Sadie snapped. She glared at them all. "Don't ever speak his name around me like that. It's never okay. It will never be okay."

"Let Noah go," Gaten said. "Let him go."

"No," Sadie icily argued. Her voice steadily rose with each word. "If this is anything like Millie, I'm not going to let him go. He really died. That bitch didn't die. Millie doesn't deserve me. She doesn't deserve any of you, for that matter. Millie Bobby Brown is a spoiled, pretentious little girl who will use you for whatever she needs and then kick you away because she can't get her head out of her ass long enough to look at people other than her."

"Sadie, you don't really mean that...." Caleb trailed off. "She's your best friend, and we've-"

"Correction, she was my best friend," Sadie said. She looked at Finn with a look of pure hatred and anger that he was forced to look away from her. Sadie continued speaking in a softer tone. "She became dead to me the moment she decided it would be better to run than to face her problems with her friends."

—

Millie sighed, looking at her front door. She couldn't go in, yet she missed Winona with a ferocity. Winona could protect her, but it was also a burden Millie didn't want her to carry.

She stopped and stood on the street across from her house. It would only be about twenty steps to the front door. She could do it. She missed Winona, but Millie knew that Winona wasn't strong enough.

Millie would have to leave again. She was going to leave again. That much was inevitable. She just had a few more things to do before she left.

—

Winona sighed and brought her tea closer to her chest. Ever since David's death, she had felt such a disconnect. The school, seeming to understand her struggling, allowed her a week of leave.

David had been shot. He was found in the morgue, with Millie's frozen dead body displayed on the table.

The police labelled it a suicide. They said that David had some unknown connection to Millie, and that his death was an effect of hers.

Winona didn't believe it. She knew Millie was more than the sweet girl she often portrayed herself as. In fact, Winona understood something. After a year of grieving, it all finally made sense; why David kept searching for a seemingly-not-needed truth, why Millie's friends were so skittish, why Maddie and other girls died.

Millie was still alive, and God knew she was vengeful.