Ocean Eyes

Happy Heart

"My soul made love to your soul long before our bodies met.
When I first laid my eyes on you, I recognized you.
You held my future in your hands." Anita Krizzan

Paul Lahotes house was big. That was the first thing Ryder had noticed when she pulled up to the two story right after school, armed with history books. It was a muted brown, with paint peeling by the windows. The door was a brick red and there was a wilting garden in front. In the driveway sat Paul's car, with the owner lounging on the hood.

Ryder knew she shouldn't judge something by its appearance, especially when her house looked akin to a shed, but Paul's house looked nothing like a home.

He was there before she even turned of the engine, opening the door for her and offering a hand. It continued that way through out the evening- Paul was the epitome of the perfect gentleman. He pulled out her seat for her, offered her a drink, kept his hands to himself.

Ryder was supposed to be helping tutor him for his history test the next day, but her attention strayed. They sat in the dining room, which consisted of a yellowed oak table and a few chairs. The kitchen was small and relatively unused, as well as spotlessly clean. The whole house was and Ryder smiled when she had realized Paul had cleaned to impress her.

The house was void of personality. The living room was a couch and a tv, lacking any decor at all. With the exception of Paul's room, there was no decoration at all. His bedroom was on the first floor, tucked away in the corner of the house facing the woods. It was decently sized, with a full sized bed and a desk. There were a few pictures lining the wall, of a younger Paul and a woman, as well as a few more recent ones of his friends and surprisingly, birds. A chest of drawers was pressed against one wall, contrasting with the dark green of the walls.

They hadn't spent much time there, Paul not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Instead they had set up shop in the dining room and studied for three hours straight.

"Teddy Roosevelt wasn't exactly the 'Trust Buster' he's known to be." Ryder explained patiently.

"Well isn't that why he ran for office? To regulate big business?" Paul furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at his notes impatiently.

"The key word is regulate." Ryder nodded. "He didn't want to completely bust all the trusts. He just wanted a fair corporate sector. He went after Northern Securities because it was becoming a monopoly."

"Like the game?" Paul stopped paying attention to his notes, instead looking at Ryder. Her hair was down today and he liked it. The black waves were tousled and resting on her shoulders. Her face was bare of makeup and he could see every individual freckle littering her tan skin.

"A monopoly is essentially when one business controls all aspects of a  market. So with Northern Securities, they owned the majority of the-"

"You're beautiful when your passionate." Paul didn't mean for it to slip out but it did. When Ryder spoke about something she loved, like history or her family, her eyes lit up. It was a gorgeous thing- the dark oceans in her eyes glowed with an inner light. They seemed to brighten, shadowed blue turning to turquoise green. "I mean you're beautiful all the time but... I could watch you talk about history all day."

"I-" Ryder stared at him, her mouth open. She could tell he meant every single word, could see how genuine his face was. "I'm glad you think that." Her smile was slightly rueful. Maybe he found her beautiful, but she didn't see that in herself. All she saw was the past, the scars, the scraggly hair and the oversized eyes. Paul picked up on her tone, frowning slightly. Knowing that he would assure she was beautiful out of pity, Ryder continued. "But aren't you supposed to be studying for your test?"

"Why study for the test when you're here?" Paul grinned at her.

"Are you insinuating something Paul?" Ryder arched one eyebrow. "Do you have any other suggestions on how to pass the time?"

"Uh-" Paul realized his words contained a sexual inuendo. Ryder didn't seem uncomfortable, something he was constantly worried about. He kept his space and suppressed his teenage hormones, wanting her to be completely comfortable with him before anything happened. It would occur on her time and he was more than willing to wait. "We can watch a movie?"

"Netflix and Chill?" Ryder teased, a warm feeling in her stomach as she saw his cheeks blush. "You're so dirty." She fanned herself. Teasing him was hilarious, the brawny boy blushing like a child and stuttering. She missed the flicker of something across her face, because the next thing she knew, Ryder was caged against the table by Paul.

"Only for you." His breath fanned delicately over her neck and she shuddered. The warmth from his body radiated into her own and she found herself wanting to pull him closer. Paul smirked as she blushed, brushing a thumb over her wrist and feeling her pulse quicken.

Ryder swallowed heavily, gathering her strength to push Paul off of her. His chest was warm and hard under her hands, and she kept them there for a few fleeting moments after she had gotten him off her. Recovering her breathing, she glared at the boy, who looked positively overjoyed. He knew she liked him but it was always reassuring to see her body reacted just as strongly to his as his did to hers. "Paul Lahote, you are an idiot." Ryder couldn't help the smile on her face.

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot." He grinned cheekily at her. For some reason, that statement made Ryder's heart drop. Maybe it was the pressure that he put his heart into her hands, or that his smile had thrown her off, but her smile dropped as quickly as it came. The thought that he was depending on her, that her choices would affect him made her wary and quite worried. What if she did something wrong? What if she hurt him?

Suddenly, Ryder felt sick. Hurting Paul didn't bode well with her stomach. Just the thought made her want to cry. He was so good to her, such a good person. She didn't deserve him.

Paul saw the internal conflict in her eyes. Biting his lip, he swore inwardly. He'd never approached a relationship with such care. Ryder was perfect to him but he knew that she hadn't had the best life. He didn't want to push her into anything, but it was so hard. It was natural for him to want to be around him, to want to tell her that he wanted to be hers and her to be his. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms but he knew he had wait for her to want it as much as him.

"So was Northern Securities a railroad business?" Paul opened his notebook again, intent on going to back to a topic Ryder was comfortable with.

He didn't notice how much her heart swelled at his words.

"I- yeah" The fact that Paul just wanted her to be comfortable made her so inexplicably happy. He was there for her. He wanted her to happy. 

Ryder's hand reached out cautiously, latching onto Paul's. He immediately gripped on to it and she fought back a smile. His larger hand held hers perfectly, as if they were made for each other. Her skin was buzzing.

Paul grinned widely, not even attempting to hide his excitement. The two continued studying, not mentioning the physical contact that was finally happening between them. It was a long time coming, and even though it was just holding hands, Paul had never felt more content.

Their eyes caught for a split second before Ryder looked away, her cheeks warm. Maybe it was a bad idea to let it happen. Maybe she should have been protective of her heart and ignored what she was feeling. Maybe she should have saved herself from the imminent  heartbreak while she still could. But Ryder Kane didn't care about the maybes anymore.

Her heart was happy and that's all that mattered in that moment.