Living with 5SOS

11

after taking a short nap, Luke talked with ashton who agreed things needed to go back to normal. Ashton called the boys downstairs, and against their will, we all went out for dinner. We seated ourselves in a very private area of a fairly empty resturant.

The boys grumbled the whole way there in the car, and ashton told them to shut up multiple times. luke kept me pressed into his side the whole drive and i sat right next to him at the resturant.

"Guys, we are a wreck. Its hurting all of us, and its my fault, i havent been keeping you guys in line because i was too caught up worrying about shi- stuff. Thats not gonna happen anymore. The rules will be enforced and you will recieve punishments for your actions. Im really sorry i let it come to this. But i need you guys to try harder to behave. Me and luke have taken care of everything, theres nothing to worry about anymore." Ashton spoke, sterner than id ever heard. after the boys had thought for a minute and nodded in agreement, a waiter came over. I stared at my lap as everyone ordered I whispered my order to luke, letting him order for me, not wanting to talk to the unknown man, and luke seemed to pull me closer to him protectively.

I didnt bother asking why, maybe he could feel that i was tense, I just soaked up the attention, laying my head on his shoulder with a happy sigh.

We talked a bit about different things before i asked the question that had been bothering me for months.

"what was so wrong anyways? No one ever told me. Its driving me insane." The boys eyes all filled with pity.

"It was just some drama about the band babygirl. Dont worry about it. And dont ask again." Luke warned, calmly. I sighed, taking what i got, and changing the subject.

After eating, we went home and cleaned up the messy house. By the time we were done, it was almost 1 in the morning, and i was falling asleep standing up.

"Alright babygirl, time for bed." Luke mumbled, picking me up as i gladly wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

I expected him to take me to my room, but instead he laid me in his bed. I was too tired to move as he slid my jeans gently down my legs, then slipped my shirt over my head. 

"Robin, babygirl..." his voice filled with sadness and my eyes snapped open, suddenly remembering the fresh cuts and scabs littering my stomach. 

"Shit!" i mumbled, grabbing the t-shirt of his he had laid out for me and attempting to yank it over my head. Luke grabbed it from me, kissing the top of me head as tears fled my eyes.

"Please luke! give it to me." i whimpered, reaching out for the shirt, and trying to cover the cuts.

He sighed and slipped it over my head, "Why would you do that babygirl?" he asked as he went into the bathroom to get a first aid kit.

"Why do you think?" I asked, not letting my tone be too sassy.

"I didnt- i should have known." he mumbled.

he came back in with rubbing alcohol and cotton balls, and salve to put on so theyd heal faster.

"Im sorry." I mumbled.

"Dont apologize to me babygirl. Im not the one you cut up." he tilted my chin up to look at him.

i frowned. He was right. I wouldnt hurt anyone else like that. But i was different. I deserved it. I was doing it to help myself.

"Lay on your back, princess. Im gonna lift up your shirt and clean the cuts. It'll sting a bit, but try not to move, can you do that?" i reached my hand towards him as he lifted my shirt and poured a bit of rubbing alcohol into a cotton ball. He took my hand as he rubbed the burning liquid into my cuts. I cringed, but didnt move.