So lately... I have been doing things I probably shouldn't be doing to my body and honestly... I don't know how to feel anymore. I just wanted some opinions. I mean yeah I know I shouldn't do it but sometimes I can't help it--- trances and blackouts are a piece of shit.
Sometimes I just wanna rip my hair out from the catastrophe we call life. And honestly. It pisses me off how I try my best to help others but I am pushed away.... I really enjoy every second with my friends. Whether its through a phone screen or phone or face to face. They make me smile and that is what counts in my eyes.
Its just lately... I have been so depressed. Sometimes I just can't do things like I hoped for and it hurts others and at this point I really don't think people like me--
Its difficult to explain. And I need to stop overdosing and cutting and burning. But sometimes self harm is my only friend... Even if it hurts. Its always there if I need it. And I'm sorry if this hurts to hear (for those of you that care--) but sometimes I would rather be dead at this point.
Sorry.
