I'm just so sick of the endings. Of being human. I'm just so sick of being me. And its so hard to explain. But all I can say is I hate being unable to help others. But they are the reason I continue to be me. They help me feel like I deserve them. That I deserve happiness. And I greatly appreciate their dark moments. Because they help me learn to help them. But tell me why I feel this way? Tell me why I have never felt this away about any of my friends? If I could explain it... The best way would be that they keep my grip on reality strong. Without them I wouldn't be here to be quite honest.
But that's not what I was aiming to talk about, I was going to talk about my fear. My fear of losing the ones I love. And I don't know exactly how to explain.
Without the people that helped me along the way, whether they left on the way up or not, deserve to be recognized. Because I had issues with self harm a while back. And everyone seemed to care. But at the same time only two remained. Their names are illyana and leyshka. Illyana is an amazing person . yes she is lesbian but I didn't really care. She was there from the day we met. Then there was leyshka we had problems arguing sometimes but we still really cared about each other. Leyshka is confused. But I think she leans on the lesbian side. Anyways just wanted to make sure these people got reckognized
